Blogthings...You know!

The Recipe For Kimberly S. Jimenez

3 parts Compassion 2 parts Fascination 1 part Inspiration Splash of Ambition Limit yourself to one serving. This cocktail is strong!

What's the Recipe for Your Personality?

You Are Easter

You are an optimistic, hopeful, and genuinely sweet person. Sensitive and affectionate, you are easily touched. You love nature, animals, and anything cute or cuddly. For you, every day is a new chance - no matter what happened yesterday. What makes you celebrate: Almost anything. You love most holidays and celebrations. At holiday get togethers, you do best as: The peacemaker. You can prevent any squabbles that might break out. On a holiday, you're the one most likely to: Remember to include everyone

What Holiday Are You?

What Your Handwriting Says About You

You are a fairly energetic person. You know how do pace yourself, and you deal well with stress. You are very extroverted and outgoing. You are loving, friendly, and supportive. However, you are also manipulative and controlling at times. You are extravagant, over the top, and indulgent. You set trends and influence people. You need a bit of space in your life, but you're not a recluse. You expect people to give you a small amount of privacy, and you respect their privacy as well. You are conservative, old fashioned, and a little stubborn. You are resistant to change. You are a good communicator. You work hard to get your ideas across effectively.

What Does Your Handwriting Say About You?

You Should Play the Piano

You are a true music aficionado who loves many musical style and eras. You find music to be an escape. And you'd like to be relaxed and comfortable when you're making it. You're very innovative, and you have a unique way of knowing what may sound beautiful. There's a strong possibility that you could compose some of your own work songs quite easily. While you have a lot of creative energy, you are also serious and conscientious. Your musical talent needs time, practice, and lots of privacy to flourish. Your dominant personality characteristic: your painstaking attention to detail Your secondary personality characteristic: your natural tendency to be whimsical

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

I really love the outcome of this quiz... though I already have an instrument which I really love to play, I still took the quiz to test how much am I as a piano-lover and I am really surprised that the musical instrument for me is PIANO!

You Are a Green Crayon

Your world is colored in harmonious, peaceful, natural colors. While some may associate green with money, you are one of the least materialistic people around. Comfort is important to you. You like to feel as relaxed as possible - and you try to make others feel at ease. You're very happy with who you are, and it certainly shows! Your color wheel opposite is red. Every time you feel grounded, a red person does their best to shake you.

What Color Crayon Are You?

Hmmm...

Currently: Blogging...duh!
I can't think of anything. I am preparing myself for another months of going to school and I don't want February to come. If I could just stop time and skip February. Hay! This past few days, I am so quiet. I want to be quiet because i am always noisy and so vexed like almost my life. I cried sometime due to emotional conflict with myself, family and friends. It's so exhausting. I am trying to change everything from me, but it seems harder than I thought. I have so many regret on this year and I don't want to make those same mistakes again this 2008. I want to start fresh and full of energy and hopes again. Before I leave this year i want to leave also behind those trashful days when I take for granted every opportunity that comes my way. I didn't take studying seriously. I procastinated. I pick fights with my brother. I became a bad daughter. Gawd! When I am thinking how bad I become, I am really ashamed of myself. I make my parents disappointed to me due to my uncontrollable temper. I am so ashamed of myself. I found out that being quiet sometimes is ok. It gives me the time to reminesce those things that I have done-for myself and for others. My achievements, my nuisances, my stupidities, my friends, my studies, my family, my spiritual life. It sucks you know. That....that there are supposed to be so many great things that I suppose to have done but didn't do because of my laziness and lack of understading.

I want to change you know. I want to be better. Worth it on all the blessings I am receiving. I really want to change. I want to strip off the old Kim and dressed a new, fresh and clean clothes. But how? Hmm....It's really frustrating you know.

i have this in my mind...i want to be a doctor but at the same time I want to tour the world and be a famous pianist...like Maksim or lang Lang...It's funny, yeah! I know. But damn it! How on earth I could do those things when in fact I have a problem with myself. It sucks. I really hate it. I will update if any progress happens to my self-renewal. Ciao.

Of Many things to Be Thanking For

Currently: Dressed for practice in church choir.
Yesterday, we held our annual thanksgiving ceremony in our church. It's a special ocassion for all of us who are members of the Church of Christ. It's like, thanking God for the one year blessings that He endowed to us. I cried. Because I am not worth it in receiving those blessings. I repent. I pray. I sang praises to Him. It's such a good feeling that you know God is forgiving all of your sins. I just can't think that time flies so fast that this 2007 is now at it's end. Imagining that things that I have been through this year, I can say that those experiences mold me as a better person a lot. I've learned so many things. Dealing with friends, family, school and people that I met everyday. I cried yesterday because there's a point in my life that sometimes I really want to breakdown and just let go but God is beside me and I know that He didn't leave me. I have been into a friend fight, into family problems and school problems and it is such an exhaustion for me to deal to those things.

What I've prayed for?
I've prayed that on this coming year, I can be a lot stronger. I've prayed that I will not make the same mistakes again. I've prayed that everything I do I will not regret it in the end. I've prayed that I will always hold my duty to God. I've prayed that my family will still be in good health and our bonding will be everlasting. I prayed that my friends will be guided by the Lord and whatever their problems are, I prayed that those problems will easily be solved. I prayed that to have a good future, that next year when I am in college, I will focus on my studies and will make my parents proud of me (sana makapasa ako UP.) I prayed that everytime I cry I will always remember God and His promises of everlasting life as an encouragement. I prayed to be always strong, always hopeful and always faithful. I didn't expect that my life will be light next year, I expect the worst because I know that this world is getting worse. No matter what happens to me nor to anyone I love, there's only one thing I am sure of. That I will not stop serving God whatever hindrances there maybe. I will serve God until I am worth of it.

I Soo Miss the Net

Currently drawing a smile on my face due to unwanted events
Yeah! At last, dsl is already working good. My gawd almost 3 weeks of no internet, I must say I really miss my third home. haha! I felt it's the first to use the net it's really refreshing. Anyways, the most I miss is updating my blog.
I'm currently feeling down, lonely, depressed and angry at the same time. Things are just turning badly especially when it involves important people. I really hate to see us like this. There is something wrong and I really want to find out what the hell is that. Sometimes, tears will flow from my eyes without me knowing it and lately I tend to think very hard and deep. It frustrates me and it makes me wanna cry so hard. But crying is the last thing that i want to do. It only shows how weak I am.

Indulging myself to Books

, Currently Reading: Stardust by Neil Gaiman

A SPECIAL THANKS TO JOHN D. FOR GENEROUSLY DOING THE PHYSICS ACTIVITY WHICH I WASN'T ABLE TO DO, YOU'RE THE BEST!!!!

I almost lost my senses last Sunday because I didn't have my student code and my password so I can work on with my Physics activity. Luckily Sir Bau still gave an extension. I opened the site last night and gosh it's like I spent almost an hour in just one sublevel when in fact there are 10 sublevels all in all. I almost lost my mind and my senses at those crucial and cruel hours. It seems that I am limited to have 2 wrong answers only and when you exceed, you will start all over again. It's stupid. I almost die. In fact, the questions are so hard that you really need TIME to do the activity. TIME is the what I lack. If only I had the time to do that thing, I wouldn't cram like this. And also if it is not due to my stupidity because I didn't immediately ask Ellis for the student code and the password I might be able to do it right away. Lately, I have been wondering how come that I didn't have the ability to manage my time and organize my things. It seems that I like to cram and do things before the deadline or ON the deadline. It's a habit and it's becoming a disease. Well, I still have to learn how to handle things. I am too procastinating.

Recently I have seen books that really caught my eye. Take note it's not BOOK but a plural- BOOKSSSSSSSSSS. Many and many and many of books. But they cost more than what I have saved. Some of them cost 700 and some 300. I'd like to buy them all. If ever I have one wish today, I wish that I will have the books that I wanted and read them as long as I want. Reading a book has become my leisurement these past few days. But I think it's more than a leisurement it's an addiction that I cannot control. It's a disease. They said that reading has been a lost art. Some of us prefers to watch movies instead of reading books, though I am also a movie-fanatic, reading books makes my imagination really works. Reading gives you a sensation of being free, limitless and inspired. Books make you imagine things beyond limits. You can do and think whatever you want to. I just love reading books. Not only does it give you pleasure and self-enjoyment it also gives us some benefits that we can use:
we can enhance our vocabulary,we can develop our reading power,we can be inspired to write a book,making our grammars more consistent, etc. There are so many things we may get from reading books. Anyways, I'm still hoping for a miracle that money will pour down like rain from the sky and will make me able to buy those books.

I can't download any songs lately because our PC's monitor was damaged. Dad said that monitor has a life span of at least 2 years and I think we almost had that monitor for 4 years. I cannot download songs and upload it to my iTunes because it will erase and sync the new that the iTunes have on this laptop. In short, I will lost all those 1273 songs from my ipod now and will be replaced by just 150 songs I think. And I think that's tragic. Well anyways, I hope that money will AGAIN pour down from the sky and dad will be able to buy a new monitor.

Tomorrow will be our Mid-Year exam and as usual we will be expected to be number 1. Manila Science as they say is the consistent top 1 from the Midyear exam and they are still EXPECTING us to get the glory. I hope we still get the glory. I hate our schedule, Roentgen is on the third shift which is from 1:30 pm-4:30 pm. I really hate our schedule. The only good thing about it is that I will sleep until my eyes can't be close anymore. Haha...

Dance! Dance!

Currently: Organizing and Updating my Multiply Site!
I went to school yesterday and today to meet up with my classmates for our practice on street dance that we will present on P.E. class. Cramming, that's the best trait that Masci is known for. Doing works before or on deadline. Whew! Good thing we get used to it. That's how we are able to think fast and to get so stressed!. Ako lang pala stress. So anyways, the dance is girls vs. boys, I hope that boys have created a dance too. Fortunately we are able to finish the dance. Full of bad words! But the consequence is a cramping muscles from the endless practice. But still it another way of exercise.

Last night, Tito Terry and the rest of the Jimenez Family went to our house. I am excited. I am happy. I am so grateful. I am so glad. I am so thankful. I am so NERVOUS. Why? Because, gawd! It's like the first time that the Jimenez Clan will gather for the I don't know time. You know, we haven't been able to reunite lately because of personal family problems. So when I say personal, it is a private and must-kept business and don't ask me anything about it. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Though my brother was not quite himself last night because he is not used to be around will people he only once know and Daddy to. He is not a sociable person. You know? *Sighs*. Mouth-zipped. No more spilled words. But it turned out fun. I saw my nieces, Karl, who is very handsome. Kale or Keile, his sister which spends time with me watching Mr. Bean, Trixie which is a spokening-dollar girl and the cutest of all Francheska, who just insist to PUT another dvd of Mr. Bean. She looks like a kitten. *__* So cute! They were all studying in OB Montessori so no wonder they like speaking English. Bwahaha! I am grateful and thankful at the same time because God answers my prayer, I prayed to Him a long time that our family must reunite again. God really hears prayers. Well, at least we bonded. I hope this will occur again.

Oh well. That's it. Sembreak is almost over and as usual going to school will STILL be a hard thing to do for me when especially test, perio score will welcome you're life once more. I'm just sick of all those things. But that will end.....soon.

Thank God for Giving me Time

Quote:Nothing is so dear and precious as time.- French Proverb
I Thank God for giving me enough time,
Time to reflect on all the things I have done in my life,
You know it's great that God shows His love in a different way,
Talking to your mother, going to the mall,
He is everything.
He shows His love for us in every possible way that "people we expect" to do it.

Though my life is a journey and I am not still halfway on my journey, though I sometimes don't want to go on anymore because of the bumps and the bruises I receive all the way, though sometimes there's no light to guide me through the way, that choosing the right path is sometimes a hard decision to make because you have no choice. But there's always a choice, it's only in the matter of thinking. God is always there. Even when the road is dark and dreary He is there. I don't know, I just know he is there. He wants us to learn and go back through time and reminesce His love for us. There are so many wonders from God that we have to realize, the wind, the birds, the chiming of the wind bells, the tv, the clothes, the shoes, the piano, the music.... all the things that we are capable of using today it's all God's creation. No wonder man exploited it. *Sighs*. It's really hard and tiring to be good, but's worth it because you are with Him. You find peace and a sense of tranquility within you when you feel Him, it's like you're floating. Lately, I have been dreaming stuffs about my life, schools, family and friends. I don't know maybe dreams are fortellers of the future. I don't know, I just sometimes see that they happen in a coincendental way I dreamt of them. It's wierd. *Sighs*.

Do I want to be a cook? A doctor? An interior designer? A fashion model? A Physics nobelist? So many dreams yet sometimes I feel that it is only through dreaming that I can achieve those dreams. God is powerful, full of wisdom and He knows what better for us. He loves us. He loves His children. He loves me, He loves you. Don't worry. He is always there.

Learning the Art of Letting Go will Make me Strong

Currently Chatting with BFF
Well, speaking of my bestfriend. Arnie is the best! Last night, I just want someone whom I can talk to, someone who will be willing to hear all my nuisances and my feelings, then whom else I can think of, my bestfriend. I phoned her, at first I thought that she was busy and I was quite embarassed because i will disturb her, but she still lends her time to me. I say all the things that bugs me off. She says things that really comforted me, I really want to cry yesterday due to emotional breakdowns... have you ever felt that so alone? oohhh..... I hate that feeling. Good thing, Arnie is there.

What I learned today, is that letting go is the best thing you can do to be peaceful and happy. Even though it hurts, you have to let go for the sake the person involved and for the sake of yourself. I learned that being hurt is part of this life. While you are in that phase, you are getting stronger, more faihtful and you're building your life through it. hay...buhay nga naman. Sometimes you have to have to learn, accept, let go and continue to live your life.

So what if I'm alone? I'm not really alone, I still have friends, I have my bestfriend, I have my family and most especially I have God.

Alone

Feeling uneasy and frustrated about things that happened around me... Ang sama talaga ng ganitong feeling. Gusto kong magtagalog para masabi ang lahat ng mga gusto ko ng hindi nagtatrying hard na mag-English. As you know, may mga bagay sa mundong ito na sadyang hindi natin maintindihan. May mga pagkakataong gusto na nating magpakamatay, umiyak at sumigaw ng napakalakas para maipakita natin ang ating kainisan, galit o anuman na nakapagpapabagabag sa ating kalooban. In life, people seems to be unfair, kahit naman ako minsan unfair din, pero ngayon ang pakiramdam ko mag-isa ako, hindi ako makatagpo ng isang kaibigan na talagang nandyan sa para sa akin, sa dinami daming pagkakataon, maraming tao na akong nakasalamuha pero yung taong magbibigay ng same amount of attention na binibigay ko, parang wala talaga akong makita, totoo hindi nawawala ang bestfriend ko at alam kong "Friendship knows no distance". Pero I'm looking for a friend, hindi bagong bestfriend, just a friend that I know I always can count on too. Nasaktan na ako, umasa, umiyak, thinking na bat sila ganon? They are so unfair, hindi din ba nila maisip ang nararamdaman ko hindi naman ganon ang ipinapakita kong feelings towards sa kanila, I try to show them that I smile even though sobrang lungkot ko. Talang fed up na ako, I am really feeling alone, lahat sila may bestfriend, lahat sila may napagkukwentuhan ng mga bagay na comfortable sa kanila, lahat sila may katext, lahat sila nagtatawanan, while there is me- me who longs for a friend, me who longs for my bestfriend, kung pwede ko lang ipaconvert ang bestfriend ko gagawin ko, kaya nalulungkot din ako. Kasi kahit sa salvation I will be alone. Masakit umasa, masakit ipagsiksikan ang sarili mo sa mga taong ayaw naman o kung hindi ayaw ay hindi nakikisama sa gusto mo. Mahirap na nakikibagay lang sila sayo...yun lang. I wish to find them or her. Masyado lang talagang fed up ang feelings ko ngayon.

Idagdag pa ang personal problems ko, being stupid, lazy, thinking things that are all stupidity. Ewan ko kung maliligtas ako, naging masama akong tao, may mga bagay na kelangan kong dapat matutunan pero pinagwawalang bahala ko, siguro narin sa mga iba't ibang problems. Ang hirap magpakatao. Most of the times kahit kasama ko ang mga friends ko I feel so alone, na parang hindi ko kayang malabas ang mga feelings na dapat ilabas ko, natatakot akong makasakit ng feelings ng iba, natatakot ako dahil baka hindi nila maintindihan. I'm just so afraid. Bakit ganon? Kahit walang pasok ay stressed out ang emotions ko. Please stop, I need some rest. Kelangan kong magpahinga, napapagod na akong masaktan, umasa, makibagay, magbigay ng magbigay pwede bang ako naman ang alagaan, intindihin, pakiusapan, pagbigyan. Pwede ba kahit isang pagkakataon, hindi ako yung makikinig, pwede bang kayo naman yung makinig? Ako naman yung maglalabas ng mga bagay na gusto kong ishare. May nangyayari rin naman sa buhay ko, may mga bagay na nagpapaiyak rin sa akin. Bakit sa tuwing kailangan ko ng tulong ay walang taong nagtatanong..."May problema ka ba?"..."Ok ka lang?"....Kahit yung mga ganong tanong lang ok na sa akin, makagagaaan na ng loob ko....pero ang masakit doon, wala, minsan ay sila pa itong magagalit sa akin dahil napaka-moody ko....bakit kayo hindi ba ganito? Minsan nga kahit ako na walang ginagawa ay pinagbubuntungan niyo ng inis eh. Kahit..."Ok ka lang ba?"...ok na sa akin.... kahit yun lang.....may pakiramdam din naman ako...Sawa na akong magparaya, sawa na akong magbigay, sawa na akong mag-isa, sawa na akong malungkot at sawa ng akong magbigay...Pwede ba? Pakiusap lang naman Po? Pwede po ba....kahit isang beses sa buhay ko bago ako mamatay o matapos ang mundo, may ISANG taong magbibigay importansya sa akin, magpaparaya, iiyak, masasaktan, magtatanong ng "ok ka lang ba?", "May sakit ka ba?", "Musta naman araw mo?" sa akin...Kahit sa huling pagkakataon po....kahit sandali lang po madama ko yun....Masaya na po ako....

Gusto kong umiyak na parang bata, umiyak ng malakas, magwala pero kailangan kong pigilan ang sarili ko dahil ayoko kayong masaktan...

Why Do I want to go to Heaven???

Currently Thinking: I'm tired!
Gosh! whata question. Let me take the question back to you? Why do You want to go to heaven? There are lots of things that I want to ask God, question in my memory that still haunts? nah! questions that still doesn't have any answer. Have been in a situation where you are asking too many questions to yourself and you seem unable to answer it because you didnt know the answer? no one knows the answer? It's ridiculous, actually talking to myself alone, asking myself the same old questions that I cannot answer. It's really making me crazy...haha. But anyways, other reason that I want to go to heaven is to stop all this stress that I feel, HEAVEN IS A STRESS-FREE place so, I think that's cool. But I have to SUFFER, CRY, HURT, BE IN PAIN, FEEL ANGER, BE VAIN, BE CONCEITED, BE SELFISH...in short I have to feel all the human things and be able to surpass it walking through God's words and let me tell ya people! it's hard! With all the things that surrounds me-crimes, immoralities, unjustifiable acts, it's really frustrating, gives me a headache. *Sighs* *Sighs* *Sighs*. It's really tiring.

Things I must achieve/do/believe before I die/have an accident/catch a disease/be old/the end of the world:
1. Become a Doctor.
2. Be a pianist. (kahit makatugtog lang sa pipitsuging resto...ok na!)
3. Join the orchestra....eto yung part ng believe lang talaga. (it needs miracle)
4. Perfect the Physics test. (ah! eto malabo ata, or talagang impossible!)
5. Go to Paris, London and Venice!
6. Have a boyfriend! (pero career muna! hehe!)
7. Fly!
8. Wear a corset.
9. Be on a stage play.
10.See an Aurora Borealis.
11.Fly with Superman.
12.Read people's minds...wahahaha!
13.Be a physicist....ehem! Gawd! mangarap ka kim!
14.Walk on a runway! (san ko nakuha idea no to?)
15.Be a ballroom dancer. (hay....sarap mangarap)
16.Have a beautiful house...pwede pang mangyari
17.Have my own library...(I love books)
18.Be loved...by someone special

I apologize for being too over dramatic and having too self-indulgence, I just can't control everything that's in my mind, besides it's not bad to dream right?
So why do I want to go to heaven? To achieve all those things....nah....It's because i want to thank Him for giving me the ability to think of things that will make me thank Him!

Coping up With Everything

Current Quote:"Life is like a library owned by the author.
In it are a few books which he wrote himself,
but most of them were written for him.--Harry Emerson Fosdick

I haven't post for the longest time, I'm such a busy bee now. Right now, I'm still lack sleep and my body just wanna rest because tomorrow, I have to wake up early and go to school early to prepare early for the Foundation day because MSHS chorale will sing I think about 5 or 6 songs, natatamad akong bilangin eh...hehe... Anyways, life is as usual....busy, haggardous and really tragic. Many things happened to me these past few days, the contest and 2 loses, my trying hard disposition to cope up with my studies, because I really missed alot of lessons and discussions because of practices in the choir. But I am not complaining, because I don't regret that I've entered the choir. *Sighs*. Life is so tiring. Sometimes I feel that I just want to stop for a moment, breathe some fresh air, go to some quiet place, meditate and have time with myself, I just want to unwind. After this week the hell week is about to come, periodic tests.... I have to do good in this test, especially in Physics. I am given a second chance and I won't miss that opportunity. *Sighs* If only....I have superpowers to stop time, undo everything, because I really regret that I didn't study hard and didn't have enough guts to do my best in Masci. At the end of the day, I'm always thinking, what if I have done this.....I should have done that better....I shouldn't done that......Regrets...I am now full of regret. But I have to accept things as they come by because, I am the one who make this. God has a purpose in everything, though I still didn't know it. I feel like, I have to study really hard for the last time as a full pledge Mascian. I am now a Senior, I am on my half life as a senior in Masci and few more sleeps, I will be in college. There are a lot of things I've learned in Masci although Masci is a small place, it's actually a big place. You can learn everything, from socializing with people to sleep in classes...haha!

I just hope that the foundation day tomorrow would be a good one, full of surprises and fun. *Sighs*. I just hope so. Well, i think i have to have a good night rest. Ciao!

We Hate Sugarfree! We want Chocolate!

Currently Listening: Beautiful Girls- Sean Kingston
Yesterday was the Musikapella Contest at UP Diliman, Theater. But before going to the theater we will meet at school at exactly 8:00 am but as usual Filipino Time, I arrived at around 9 am because I have to attend our choir practice at the church. Thank God my sore eyes are now gone and I can see perfectly again. It is my first time that I caught that irritating disease. You feel as if people are afraid of you. haha. Oh Well! at least I was able to join the contest before it will be ruined. Unfortunately, we didn't make it. Due to some unwanted factors, things happen so easily as they are. Though I'm a bit disappointed, I'm just thinking that we were not yet ready and there are lots of contest more to come, so contest are waiting for us and we will rock at all of them! But I would like to thank people who help us, who is always there at our practice, the alumni, father, and all the people in Masci. You have been done a great part in participating in our contest.

I just want to shout to all that we have Sugarfree and we love Chocolate... hahaha! The list of winners are from third runner-first runner up: San Juan de Letran, School of St. Anthony and Ramon Magsaysay... So Congratulations to them and a big round of applause to all the participants of the event. Unfortunately, I didn't have any pictures to upload because we busy singing and getting our pitches. So that's not good. But look at the bright side, I was able to play piano at a baby grand. Yes Baby Grand! The sound was so exhilirating, peaceful and perfect! I wish that that Baby Grand will fit to our house...haha...I wish that that will be my birthday gift! wahaha...anyways, I'm glad because I didn't let that opportunity pass. Wahaha....

This morning my body doesn't want to go to school but my conscience prevails because I must cope with our lessons due to my unending excuses for the choir. It's so frustrating and stressing...haha...pimples! I've missed lots of quizzes, seatworks, practice exercises already and I must really cope with them as soon as possible to prevent any further burdens for me. Though my mood was quite irrirated because I missed so many assignments and I feel as though my life was really unorganized. Well, so much for that, I am busy right now...really busssssssssyyyyyyyy...

Upcoming Responsibilities

Currenlty watching: Wedding Crashers at HBO, 4:00 am
So what the heck am I doing at this hour blogging? First is I am going to study, for the Student TIme test in Economics, another is to just use the internet. It's usually a routine for me now, waking up early in the morning and use the internet because you know at ordinary hours, the dsl is not working properly, so instead of pissing myself I just take a nap and wake up early to use the internet, am I doing the right thing? oh well, at least I know that I am one of those few people who uses the internet at this kind of hour.

Yesterday is so exhausting, going from one roon to another was not an easy task and added to it, we must sing, MSHS Chorale is collecting money from our own school so that we will be able to save our co-chorales you doesn't have the means of paying for the expenses on the upcoming contest on Sunday. We're nervous. I'm nervous. Plus I have to think for Physics and other subjects because schedule is really hectic today. We will practice straight this week and I am afraid that I may not be able to do and cope with the lessons I've missed. But I am still praying that God will help me and guide me through and I know that HE is always there. *sighs*, I had a terrible headache yesterday due to over singing haha.... But honestly, it's fun. We get a little bit bonded, all the people I use to not be comfortable with at first, I am glad that I am well-acquainted with them now. Haha...It's so cool. I am having a prayer that He will guide the chorale through it's practice and especially during our contest, because the song we're singing is for HIM and for the school. SO hopefully we win. Pray for us guys!

I am given a second chance in Physics, I must finish reading "to Kill a Mockingbird" and other things that I must be responsible enough to do. My head is aching. So Help me God.

Grrrr....

Currently mingling about: Teksto sa Pinoy
These past few days, my nerves are just about to wrack. People from school, low grades I just receive brutally....just the few of them, but my head is about to burst and I just want to smack a face! First, people from school, first thing I will say is:I HATE CHEATERS!, if you want to get a good grade by means of cheating, believe you will not be able to earn it well, because cheating is so LAME and the most STUPID thing that a student could do. I didn't want to say names because I am STILL HOPING that everything will change before it gets worse. What do you get from cheating? Bunch of good grades? Good remarks? Gawd! That sucks...people don't think that they will do EVIL for the sake of getting HIGH GRADES!!!!! Damn! I just really want to say this really loud! I HATE CHEATERS!!!!!!. It is ok to copy assignments or a minor thing to do, but cheating on periodic, summative or long tests is way beyond thinking. If I am going to ask myself I would rather fail the test than to cheat because my conscience is clean! Woooh! I've said it all...so much for that I guess...

Well about, being having low grades, I am really depressed at my score in Physics...In my recent entries in this blog, I say that I will try to study HARDER in Physics and aim high scores, but I guess that resulotion was made to be broken ONCE AGAIN! I am super low in Physics, I just want to jump off the cliff! Gawd! That's the lowest score I've got in my whole entire student life. But there's still a second chance and I will not miss this opportunity no more. I will put my butt into studying this made-me-sick subject! No matter what happen! I swear!!!!!!*sighs*. It's such a depressing, exhausting, gloomy, dishartening, mind-breaking days, add to it the practice of the choral for the competition on September 23,2007 in UP theater at Diliman QC...SO if you want to buy tickets just txt me at 09063916011....costs 150/ticket....Buy! Please! haha...We're a bit nervous because we are competing with private schools, Angelicum, St. Scho, Benedictine, those are few schools so gudluck to us!

Blogging at Wee Hours!

Yah! I know, it is 3 o'clock in the morning baby! But what can I do, I have to wake up as early as possible to do things I have to do. Gawd! I hate it! It makes my pimple accumulate again..haha.. Anyways, this is Masci life, and as a senior student, I am so used to it now, from first year to fourth year, staying up late and waking up early is somehow a daily routine that we must follow and you've gotta adjust to it baby! If not, then you will have a hard time in Masci..

Anyways, the reasons hat blogging for me these past few days seems to be a hard tasks are because, internet seems not be so friendly nowadays, my dsl is such a piss. Everytime I want to use the net, it seems to be that it is always disconnecting, second, I am busy, this September 23, at UP Theater, MSHS Chorale will held it's first choir competition. Take note, 3 public schools are only invited including Masci and the rest were private. Whew! The tickets cost 150 pesos. So text me if you want to buy at this no. : 09063916011. I am telling you, I am the only newbie alto in the block. Some of my friends, were sopranos and I am the only low-female voice among them...haha. So adjusting is quite hard but I am really trying very hard. I am a soprano in our church choir, so being an alto was quite a challenge for me. But, hey challenge is really quite good. Brings up more potential in you right? Well, enough for that. I have to really pray a lot so we can win!

So how's school life for me? Uhm....It's quite ok for now. Except that sometimes, when you really trying so hard to study, no CHEATING, LEAKAGES or everything related about cheating, and still you get a lower score than those people who CHEATED. i am not saying ALL of THEM. It feels so wrong. But, at least I didn't CHEATED. In an exam, cheating is the last thing that will ever pop out in my mind. Even though, I didn't study my exam, I will never cheated on a "serious" exam. I hope I can stick on what I have just said.

Well, so much for a busy student. I have to study physics and Finite math. Goodbye for now.

I miss my Congo!

Currently Thinking:Why Did God took Congo too early?
I just received a shocking news this afternoon, my little doogy--congo just died. Very tragic, gives me a teary eyes. Mom says that the day before, Congo was not feeling better, vomitting, didn't her food. Then today, the most mournful thing happened---she died. I really miss her. Just remembering how that dog will wait for me until I finish meal and give her some food and the most thing that I will miss on her was her "stretching" talent. Whenever we say "Congo, stretch". She will stretch her two front feet and wiggle her bunny-like tail. Uh...I really miss that dog. But that's life. You live and you die. As simple as that. Time really comes when we really have to flee from this earth, say goodbye to all the things that we worked hard for, say goodbye to our dreams and to the people we love. That's life. It all ends to---death. As simple as that. Death ends it all.

I am trying to have an inner make-over from this day on. I bought this book "A girl's Guide to Inner Beauty" at Robinson's yesterday before the play because I am too early for our meeting time. Along with the Precious Moments Bible that I excitingly bought, and because of too much exaggeration, I thought that that Bible cost 700 bucks but to my surprise, it only cost 250 as far as I can recall. So I was able to buy this "Inner Beauty" Make-over will is exactly cost 120 pesos. I think it is the time for me to cleanse my inner self. Like what other people say:Inner beauty radiates through outside. So I think for me to be beautiful...haha...I'm talking nonsense....I think I should begin from inside to outside. With Bibles and Self-help books on my hands, I hope that I can live up on what I say. But also I won't forget to pray. Praying is my only means of communication to God and to Jesus. It's like a telephone line. Although, I didn't hear God's voice, everytime I pray and if I do that would but creeps on me...hehe...I know that He is there--listening, comforting, wiping up my tears, tapping my back and saying "Hey! I am here! Just talk to me and I will listen to everything that makes your heart weary." If it feels good when you have a person you can talk with, it feels way better if God is the one who is listening to you and has open mind to understand the way you think and feel, unlike other people who really don't understand you. God is so good, powerful, loving, caring, affectionate. He is Everything. He gives me strength when sometimes I can't go on anymore, when everything seems so wrong, when I feel so weak inside and out, when I didn't know what to do anymore. Just call him and he will be there. He is always there.

Waffling Thoughts

Currently Reading: Lark by Ginny Aiken
Last night at around 12:30 in the midnight I finished reading "The Last Sin Eater" by Francine Rivers. It's a very good novel, so good that you don't want to let go of the book even though my eyes really wanna close--i'm so sleepy. But I think, hey kim! there's only one more chapter to go and the emotion that I have felt through the novel will be gone the next morning so i decided to finished reading it.


The Last Sin Eater is a compelling and somewhat a kind of mysterious novel, I bought this novel at the "Dulos" you know, the boat at South Harbor where they travel around the world to have a booksale price of books. It's kinda cool. I bought this book way back third year but it is only until now that I finished reading it. haha.. Along with "The Last Sin Eater", I bought "Lark". Actually, the reason I really hastened my reading of The Sin Eater was because I really want to start reading "Lark", I read at the back cover that it is a good romance from the reviews. So right now, I am just at the beginning of the story and it seems quite good. After this Lark book, I will finish reading "The Time Traveller's Wife". You know, it's quite funny because I really don't want this novel, I find it boring and simply erratic on the way the story flows. Anyways, I am not fond of leaving a book unfinished. It's like leaving a life cruelly without putting an end to it. So even though I don't want reading it, i will force myself to.

This may sound stupid and hilarious, but I miss school. Really. Honestly. Not that I want to know my grades in the last periodic test because my grade really suck in Physics!-o God the glory of Physics! and Math- *Cross-fingers* I hope mam will still have considerations!. It's not like that. It's just so boring here at home, nothing to do but to stare in front of the computer, writing this blog that is full of nonsense because I cannot think anymore of a topic to write because nothing happens in my life, watching boring tv shows but thank God there is Grey's anatomy to feed my satisfaction, sleeping? That's a good thing though, I am pleading for more sleeps so there it goes, God has give plenty of time to sleep and I am at least very thankful for it. Reading good books? That another good thing though, finishing to read The Last Sin Eater, makes my faith really stronger and now reading "The Lark"--I hope to be in love. haha

It's a grand vacation you know? From Wednesday up until monday, we will have no classes. Yipee! But I just said I want to go to school, but still a Yipee! because there is no classes. Uhmm....

A Fresh New Start

Currently Listening to: Jenny- The Click 5
I have just changed my skin, again. For the I don't know time, I changed my blog again and don't you just love the ambience of my skin? It's so cool, refreshing, peaceful, elegant and that's what I am to do. To start cool and refreshing, forgetting the past and what bad and undesirable things that happened in the past. Classes was cut today due to a typhoon, named Egay. I know that classes will be cut because the rain never stopped ever since. But going home is another hard thing to do, riding on the bus, we were soaking wet, Me, Dawn, Vincent, Noriel and Angelique. And we stayed at the bus for almost 3 hours!!!! The question was, why is it that everytime that it rains, the traffic is just so slow-moving that you wanna get off the bus? Well, at least I got home safe.
Going home, I ate my lunch and watch Grey's Anatomy. I love Grey's Anatomy, it just reminds me over and over again that I want to be a doctor, and right now, I am thinking if I want to be a surgeon. Mom says that being a surgeon is a risky job, that people's lives are in my hands and I have to really study hard. I know that being a surgeon is the most competitive and life-risking job in the world of medicine, but I think it is quite fun, not fun that I will knife down a person's body but fun that I will be able to save lives. At least thinking about the good karmas i will gain. But I will spend about 8 years at medical school to fulfill these soaring high dreams. Does studying this course requires a thorough specialty in Physics? Gawd! If ever, I will really have the "hardest" time in my life. haha.
Anyways, time changes and no one knows what will happen next. But I will stick on being a doctor.
I have already save 670 pesos because I am planning to buy this cute Bible that I saw at Robinson's Ermita. I think it cost 700. So with my own money I will buy the greatest gift that I can give to myself- the Bible. It has a cute Precious Moments graphic at that Bible and I really want to buy that. Another 150 pesos and I will be ready to buy. It's a quite surprising thing for that I am now able to save money for my personal pleasure and satisfaction, buying candy magazine was a monthly theraphy for me and I spend my own money on buying on it. Sometimes mom's do buy it..haha. If ever I want to have a gift for my friend, I buy them with my own money. But this time, I will save money for the gift I am going to give for my parents. My mom will have her birthday at September 21 and I want to buy her a bag, while dad, celebrating his birthday on September 22, I will buy him..uhm...All about related to beatles? Because dad is so choosy when it comes to gift, sometimes he didn't use it..haha! and one more thing, I think I will give them cards on their anniversary on September 22. Haha.. This requires lots of saving. I think, someones not gonna eat..haha! At least it contributes on my diet...haha.
Well, so much for today, still I am not studying for the lovely Physics for the summative tomorrow and MAPEH-CAT too! Ooh...I hate it...too much temptation, TV, Computer!!!! They're everywhere.!!! Ciao!

The Tranquility There is When it Rains!

"Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within.
It is not what we see and touch or that chich others do for us
which makes us happy; it is that which
we think and feel and do,
first for the other fellow and then for
ourselves.------Helen Keller
Rain has been pouring down non-stop today. Due to low pressure area. It's raining season again. And I must not forget to bring umbrella to school always. Everytime, when it rain, especially at home, I became so quiet. I just to be quiet and think about things. Why do we associate thinking when it rained? I just feel good when it rains. Thinking about how complex life can be. Thinking bout my future. Thinking 'bout my friends. Thinking 'bout my perio exam. Thinking about passing Up. Thinking about being a Cinderella. Thinking about everything. Why do I have to think about everything. Then I fall asleep. Sleeping nowadays, is the last thing that I will think. Projects, Portfolios, Perio exams. No more sleeping days. But today, I slept because it rained. Rain=relaxation. Rain=peace. Rain=tranquility. Rain=silence. Rain=blessing. Rain=Crying. Rain=Thinking. Rain=Music. As you grow older, you are becoming more and more complicated. I wish I am just like Pooh bear. I want to sing the "Cottleston Pie". Pooh is so simple, simple-minded, although at other person he may look stupid and idiot---Pooh is innocent. But being an innocent in this world? Nah...You won't survive living this world. You must be strategic, impulsive, ambitious, sometimes vain, independent. Because this world is not getting good, it's getting worse. If only I could live my life in the forest. If only I have the power to turn back time. If only....Life is full of regrets. My life is sometimes full of regrets. I didn't learn from past mistake and that was I regretted the most. Regretting your regrets. Doing the same thing all over again. I'm just tired. Right now, I am trying to live a God-fearing, peaceful, tranquil life. Just life that is full of smiles, life that is full of music, food, wonderful dreams, love, hope, faith, strawberry swirls, laces, all of my favorite stuffs. I just want to live life good.

Last Tuesday, my teacher in English shows us poem titled "Crossroads". It is true, that 4th year students are now standing on the crossroads, choosing the best path. What would I choose? and what if there's no choice? But there's always a choice. If I choose, would I be sure of it? Would I be satisfied? Would I live my dreams and goal through my journey? Would I meet interesting people? Would I meet death? Questions. Questions. Future is so erratic. You didn't know what might happen. *Sighs*. Life is really mysterious and yet so beautiful.

Before I die, I would like to fulfill these dreams:
---A perfect score in Physics!---
---To witness Aurora Borealis---
---To play at an orchestra---
---To have my own piano concerto---
---To become the best doctor---

The BIG day!

"We cannot have a perfectly mutual and reciprocal love
because the same amount of love we give can only be found in God."
It's a good thing that I am able to post before the BIG day tomorrow. MALCOLM HALL: COLLEGE OF LAW 12:30 pm, bring your snacks and a no.2 mongol pencil because tomorrow will be my test in UP!!!! This is the day...the day that we've prepared for, all those reviews and weeks of sleepless nights, all those all-about readings when there is a vacant in class, in short all those arduous task that I've done before this day. At Last this day comes. It's a once in a life chance. Sabi nga I must collect good karmas...haha... But even though, my test would be at noon, we would still go there at around 8:00 leaving the house because I don't want to be late. I won't miss this opportunity that being late is not excuse.

The recommendation form that I gave to Mam Lava last week for Ateneo was lost...haha...Looks like He really doesn't want me to take the test. I think sooner the forms of La Salle will be lost...haha...The reason I want to try those entrance exams is that I just want to experience entering those "sosy" schools. But IF EVER I passed those two schools, there's no way that I will enter those schools. First it's a sectarian school, and I am an INC, second because of too much expenses. I am not used to a school who has high tuition fees because during high schools, MAsci don't have any kind of tuition fees. So UP is my only hope to go to college. But I don't rely on my knowledge and strength only, in fact I will not have these if God didn't help me, so I make sure that before I do things on my own, I will consult everything to God. I am not uber confident about everything, I just want to be humble, in fact, I am so nervous right now. I just want to cry. I don't know I want to cry. You know? the feeling that what if I don't pass the test...but no...faith is the first thing that God looks at our hearts. So I have the faithest faith of all ....I will pass UP!!!!!!!!!! Uuuu....adrenaline rush...

It's Very Alarming

Now, i will have a post about the most alarming thing that nature can give us. Mother nature is in it's fury and intense anger. No rain, shortage on electric power, the alarming global warming that has been on the critical state, heat waves that has killed many people, volcaninc erruptions and many other things that we can't even control. People are thinking on how we will solve these problems. Remedies have been made like the "cloud seeding" or artificial rain because dams lack water. I asked dad why did there is a shortage on electric power, so he explained to me that the water falling from the dam is the potential energy needed to make the turbine rotate or to produce hydroelectric power but there is not enough water to make the turbine run because there is no rain. Why there is no rain...it is because of the getting worse global warming which is due to human exploitation of human resources. The increase emission of Carbon Dioxide which is very harmful to our environment, the ozone layer is depleting. No it's not depleting, I think it is already depleted. Whether its raining or not, it's still so hot and the heat is not normal. I once read at a newspaper that in Hungary 500 people died because of heatwave. In Baguio, it is reported in the news that ice was rained and it was not normal. What's happening to our environment, truly, mother nature gives us what deserves us and maybe it is the sign that the world will end....soon.

What can we do? If you will look at people, they don't care. "Some" of them don't care. They just think that it is normal that we experience this kind of things. but it is not. We must be informed that it is quite really alarming that theses things happen. We might never know, maybe tomorrow, fires will pour down from the skies, people will die from heat wave, we will lack water and will be searching everywhere for it and disease will surely spread. Aren't you afraid? I am afraid. It's getting worse and worst....

Amnesia

1 Peter 3-3:4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment,
such as braided hair and waring of gold jewelry and fine clothes.
Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty
of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which is of great worth in God's spirit.
We had a discussion about mental health in Health for the past few days, and gawd! I am so into it, maybe i'm having relations with it. haha...being baliw! Well, Glazy narrated that she had an amnesia, a quite weird amnesia, she said that she had an amnesia on a person that is so close to her. Her bestfried died a long time ago, due to her depression according to her, she had an amnesia, but only to her bestfried. It is so cool, an amnesia only on a "certain" thing, the hard part about that is that of all the things that you will be forgotten off, why would it be the very important person who has been a part of your life. Oh well! I said to myself, if ever I experienced Glazy's, I would rather forget everything except MATH!!!! haha...I've been having sleepless nights because of math and having an amnesia is not an excuse on it. I won't let amnesia, make me back again to basics. haha...Just joking.

We've done some cooking thing on HE this morning and it was quite fun except on the part when we are scolded by Mam San Jose because we were so late at her period.

I am so into myself right now, because i've noticed that in these past few days, I've been having a moment when I think really deep, being silent has dominated my times since then, and I don't know why... maybe because of the things that happen to me especially about friends, in school and in church. In church, I am really feeling uncomfortable, I just don't know, maybe it's natural because it's not everytime that you feel ok with your friends. All I can say that it is so unfair. You will not really receive the same amount of caring and understanding that you give for that person and don't expect that they will give the "same" or "greater" amount of caring and understanding that you have given, because people are not like that. You will be hurt no matter what, and I learned that you must accept to be hurt and to be loved. It's just really unfair because I felt that "my friend" treats my "other friend" more important than I do, that is in fact, we shared many things already. I am really hurt. And it's ok to be hurt because you are becoming closer to God. Having a heart to heart talk with Him.

By the way, UpCat is coming so close!!!! It's July 26 and my test will be on August 4, 12:30 pm at Malcolm hall (College of Law) UP Diliman. I'm really nervous, and like all Iglesia ni Cristo, if ever I have things that I want to do, I want to consult everything to God. So in short, nagpapanata na ako. But I have to work hard for that, and we have a refreshing course this Saturday at Academic One, and I have to be better on it because I am so disappointed about...well I don't hae to say this.

Well it's half past midnight and I just want to stop by at my blog to jot down things. Next time ulit!

Hi!

So kumusta naman ako? Ciguro kala niyo patay na ako, cause I have not been blogging since like more than 10 years...Gawd! namis ko ang blog at heto nanaman ako nagnanakaw sa kulang kong oras upang makapag-blog...Ang busy busy na! Grabe! at take not 4th year na ako! Busy in studies especially busy in studying for UpCat...actually, hindi pa ako ready kasi hindi pa ako masyadong nakakpagreview...Besides Up kumuha ako form sa Ateneo, nagbabakasakali lang, pero hindi ako papasok don, masyadong maluho ang pamumuhay, baka mamulubi at tumira na lang kami sa styrofoam, mantakin mo banaman yung form eh 500 pesos na! Form palang my bayad na eh pano kung doon na ako nag-aral! hehe...Bat nga ba ako nagrereklamo? sino bang my sabi na mag-aral ako don? ah basta, kelangan kong makapasa sa UP! gO lang!

Kumusta naman ang 4th year life ko? well ok naman, masaya naman kahit papano ang Roentgen, daming baliw at loko-loko. Sa mga teachers? Da best. Magagaling ang mga teachers namin ngayong 4th year, favorite ko si Mam Correa ng English at mam D. ng Filipino, ang saya talaga. Pero hindi ko aakalaing palagi akong tulog sa Math namin...grabe talaga tuwing math na lang...twing math na lang tulog ang mga senses ko, parang nanghehele si Mam, Math na yon ha? Grabe talaga, tulog ako palagi kaya naman palagi akong kulelat sa test...haha! Pero I'm trying not to sleep naman, just trying.

Well, I am striving to be a better person now...sana mastrive kong mabuti. Pero may mga elemento paring sadyang nagpapasama ng araw ko, mapaschool o kaya dito...grabe talaga pero kaya ko to... haiy naku...

Absent ako ngayon...tapos bukas review lang kami whole day para sa NCAE...cge bye na..

A Long Hibernation

Currently Listening to: Daisukidayo- Ai Otsuka
My shifting on music genre is quite complicated and quite influenced by people I am with. From listening to classical music, which was my main specialty because playing classical piano is a must, from listening to alternative rock which Dawnavie always insist me to download an alt song everytime we meet at school, on listening to J-pop and K-pop because of Majo, on listening to OPM musics because of Elaine and other things like that. But it's great because I am able to find and explore different kinds of music, not just sticking only on one type. I thought that I will hate alternative rock but I was very wrong. My playlist is dominated with alternative rock and easy listening songs, which really fits all my mood, from happy to sad, from jolly to melancholy. haha.
Maybe you're wondering what took me so long to update my blog. Well I am here already typing all the things that happened to me since I have my last update. At first, the sched of section Roentgen is a blast! I hate it! While other 4th year section are on their way home, here we are still at school because we have classes until 6pm! Come on man! 7 am to 6pm? I thought that I will escape that unfortunate thing because that was like my sched on my 3rd year and still the same thing will happen to me this 4th year. Hmp...Masci really likes to see me having hard time! haha...But I think it's good for now, because we already have a 5 o clock dismissal. We will go home during Thursdays. Why is it an advantage to me? Because I will not anymore cram about choir's practice in the church. At least I will be able to ride the bus without any cramness because I'll tell you, if ever I have a sickness like nervous breakdown, maybe I am dead long time ago. Of all the nervousness I've encountered, man, I must be dead. Nervous everytime I go to school, nervous in having a recital, nervous in everything. So good thing I don't have any nervous breakdowns...haha

How about that special feeling? Remember last post I have said that I am feeling a strange feeling? haha...it's just a stupid feeling, and everytime I remember how stupid it was I want to laugh to death so hard...haha...I am wrong...definitely wrong...Muntik na ako doon...haha..but I survive...I didn't fall! haha...It's hard to fall, you end up crying. So it's just stupidity...Never mind that post.

I am having a hard time comprehending those sickly finding the equation for the 3 bisector angle in Analytic Geometry...it's math you know?! hahaha...Looks like my mind is always asleep everytime I step foot at M21 Class: Analytic Geom Teacher: ***. **** Time: 1:00-2:00pm (Wow! Sarap matulog). Never mind the teacher, it just that I really have to drink a gallon of coffee just to not fall asleep in that class, the teacher is good, but there's something wrong. it is not that she is talking to the black board but the time is really wrong. I really hoped that major subjects will be at morning schedule, so our minds will be fresh. haizzz.... But I will not give up math! I will fight till the end!!!! haha...!!!! I dare you math!!!!
hehe...sana nga magawa ko yan.

I was so happy yesterday because even though I got a very low score in math, Carlota is there to cheer me up...She gave a portrait in Paris! haha...It's really cute. The camera is out of battery so maybe the picture will be posted next time. I've always dreamed myself walking through the streets of Paris, just to walk in Paris will make me the happiest person ever lived! It's so touching because Carlota remembered me haha...Aral tayo French sa summer ha?

Life is really tough always, there's nothing perfect. Dana and I have a conversation, knowing somethings about her, and I realized how fortunate and lucky i am, not just she was not lucky, but I've realized that complaining about things that happen to me is bad because, I am not the one who really suffered a lot. I always say why my life is cruel.... But realizing those things, makes me feel bad.

Paris in Jail

Currently Listening:I don't need a Man- PCD

Haha...This music video is so funny. She really looks like Paris Hilton, and I like it when the cop was chasing after her...haha!

Makes Me Wonder

Currently Listening: What Makes you Stay-Deana Carter
A week of haggardousness, yesterday my stomach was aching so hard...my ulcer is getting worse...haha. Masci held a Club Fair today, though was not so grand, I think it's first time that Masci held such thing. I joined the Techno Club, the Research Club, the Nihonggo Club. I have stamps on my arms to verify that I am now a member of the club, Christine just stamped me as a member of the Pion Club (Physics) because Pion Club is a desserted place....haha.

What makes me wonder is that, I am not sure about my feelings...I can't say that I am falling, but I can also say that I am falling...Falling for what? I dunno! It's complicated right now...To whom am I falling? I do not know also! When am I falling? That I know... I am falling sooner or later. A feeling that makes you wonder.

What is Angle of Inclination??? Oh C'mon!

Currently Listening to: Hit 94.7
Initium Sapientiae- Beginning of Wisdom
It's Tuesday...a happy day, first because our dismissal time from school is 5pm and I will go to church again to held the tuesday panata. It such a good thing that we held panata every tuesday...it really helps.
So, what's about that angle of inclination? and that Oh C'mon thing? Well will having Analytic Geom, we have a surprised graded recitation....and come on, looks like I am the only one who has the hardest and not prepared question...what is angle of inclination? Some of my classmates have those computations, and I am reciting orally what is angle of inclination. I know that we have discussed this thing, but I didn't expect that it would be the question that would be asked for me...Unfortunately, although I'm too stupid not to answer the question at least I still have the chance to be able to answer. Now...it's computing not definingthe Angle of Inclination... and I got it.hahaha
I have a stomach ache in Physics...I just don't know, my ulcer attacked again...due to over-eating haha...well I have to watch out on everything I'm eating.
Bye

Uhm...

Currently Listening to: Ugly Girl- Fiona Apple
Posting from now on will be a hard thing for me to do, because I won't be able to sneak out and type stuffs here at my blog, because of my schedule which really sucks. Roentgen still have stupid schedule, imagine my only 5 o clock dismissal is only Tuesdays and the rest will be 6 and fridays will be 3 instead of 2:20. Kainis talaga. I thought that my schedule this fourth year will be a bit spacious kim-friendly but hindi ganon ang nangyari. Anyways, I can do nothing about it, I guess I have to stay just the way it was intended. I never know, maybe something will better will come my way.

The 2nd week of classes is a bit exhausting, I've slept 12:30-1:00 am straight from Tuesday to Friday, I don't know, maybe I'm just the dumb one whose sleeping this late. Going to church and commuting from school, I think if you are in my position who will give up and hope that you will die soon. I've experienced that. haha...I just want to jump off the cliff and say goodbye to this world. So eating will be the best remedy for my tired body. But I am on a diet so I can't eat. But I have to eat because I've read that when you didn't complete the regular 8 hours sleep "daily"...take note "daily" you tend to consume large amount of foods for your body. Stress makes you want to eat more. Hay! Looks like having a diet will be a big no no for me. And due to my excessive sleepless nights, research also say that your immune system will be defenseless and tend to be sick. And that's what happened to me, although I am not sick, lying on bed, I have a nasty cold. So nasty that it hinders me to do things I wanna do. What can I do? I can't avoid sleeping late, even if I avoid it, I will never go to school anymore because I have no assignments. So, as much as possible to all people in the earth, avoid being stress! Also, I am overdozed by intake of caffeine, which is my mate when I want to sleep so so so late.
My father have just passed my application form for UpCat and I will held my test at Malcolm Hall (College of Law). *nervous*
Bye!

Thank God for Yesterday

Currently Listening:Like a Star- Corrine Bailey Rae
I thought my day yesterday will be a disastrous day because I have a misunderstanding with one of my friends. It's so frustrating and depressing. Thinking that I will held my recital on that day and someone was angry to me, so I thought it will be disastrous. But God really finds a way to work things out, He knows whats the best so, my day turns out to be fine, happy and contented. I've successfully finished my recital and Joselle came, I thought she will never come. And it adds to my nervousness but, anyways, I think I did my best on stage. Here are some pics:

My dad, Me and Koks waiting for our turns.

With my mentor...=)
Ang gitarista kong kapatid...pwede nang mangharana...haha

Eto ako...feeling feelingan...haha

Josh, Me and bro...

With my Certificate...

Josh and Me

Learn to Forgive yourself... Learn to forgive others...then Happiness and Contentment Comes.....Gradually...

Currently Listening: Blue Eyes- Garden State
Bad feelings just fade away. and I want to say sorry to those person that I don't want to hurt. Sorry for being immature, sorry for not thinking possibilities why that happened, sorry for being sensitive, I thought that I am right, that I overcome my anger, but no...I let my anger overcome me, typing words in this blog that make other people hurt. I don't want to hurt them intentionally, believe me it is "unintentionally" done, like what I've said I am not perfect. I am glad that we already did talked, making things clear and arranging things, though it will take time to regain what we have before, I am still greatful for everything. I just want you to remember that I am your friend, and a friend doesn't want her friend to feel alone, especially if we have been with many laughters and cryings. I will do anything. I never regret that I met you. Instead I am very thankful because, sometimes when I am lonely, you make me smile...then turns to laughter....then turns into a loud laughter...and suddenly I forgot my problems. I didn't regret everything because I've experienced new things in life and I've seen many things in life that I didn't expect to see, you contributed to open my mind on what's life really is, that we cannot insist what we really want, that life is not just living in luxury, sitting in front of the TV and eating whatever you want to eat, life is simple on the outside but so complicated and tricky in the inside. Don't feel down about yourself: "Tell your hear that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is the second's encouter with God and with eternity." Failure is the best thing to shape up your personality. Failure teaches you how to be strong. Failure leads you to your dreams and failure leads you to God. I know that failure is a scary word, I also fear failure, failure in studies, friends, family, failure in everything. We can't ran out from failure it's in the nature. I don't want to fail, of course, but once you overcome that failure, you'll see that you became stronger than before. Feeling down about yourself is a natural thing to feel, but it's a big no no. God made you, in a special way, in a special way that no other people can surpass. You are unique. You make people happy and that is- I think that best trait a person can possess. I wish I can do that to other people as well. We all have flaws, because flaws makes life fun. Perfect is boring.
I just want you to know, how deeply sorry I am for things I've said in this blog before, and I want you to remember than no matter what, I will still be your friend, need help? Call me. I am always here. Whether I am smiling, crying, frowning or gloomy, don't hesitate to call me. I've treated you as a friend and I will treat you a friend. I accept people who comes to my life, I accept who they are and I don't care what other people think of them, because for once in my life, I've met a person who brings smile on people's faces. You are my friend, I hope that you are like that to me too. I am sorry. Thanks for the memories I've had with you. Take care and don't forget to pray. Prayers fade problems. At least you don't forget me.

The Himig Kasiglahan and Reunitin with some old friends

Last Sunday,I arrived home at past 12 midnight from "Himig Kasiglahan" in Trece Martires, although it was a bit tiring, watching the contestants from different locale of the district of Cavite singing praises, they have such a good voice and each of everyone of them deserve to win, but in all battle, there is only once Champion and congratulations to : Locale of New Era, dasmariñas Cavite for being the ultimate champion. They have the best voice. I wasn't able to post the videos that i have shoot. Sorry.

Last monday, Diana, my old classmate from CRMI texted me if I will be available on Saturday I said no, so she reschedule our meeting on Wednesday which was yesterday. I have the chance to see them again and I will say Diana is so fat! haha.. Hindi ko aakalain na tataba si diana ng ganon. wahaa. Then Darryl came, with the same height, pero sabi niya tumangkad naman daw siya. They both said that Ara will come, I didn't know that she was already home from Singapore. Well, we've waited so long before she came to SM, like a thousand light years..hehe. But I'm glad that I was still able to see her. I was shocked when she cried when she sees me. She said that she doesn't have friends in Singapore and it is so lonely there. So she cried. And I was touched. We went to take a picture, which I didn't get because I go home earlier than they are, then we eat at Kenny Rogers then we watch Pirates of the Carribean 3!
Reuniting with old friends was a good experience for me especially here comes classes again, I get to think of the happy days that we still have during our elementary days, I never thought that I will still be attached to them, even though I am already studying in Manila and Ara is now in Singapore. It's such a good thing.

In the meantime, I will be an organist at the children's choir. I am so grateful, I know that it is a must-to-do responsibility, but i want it. So i will try everything to fulfill my responsibility.

Ara, Me and Daphnie

Ang arte ni Diana, ayaw pakita fats niya.

Dapat kasama ko si Ara, pero ako lang pinicturan ni Diana, wala lang pang-inis kay ara. hehe

Organizing things and Looking Forward this Opening of Classes

Currently Listening:To Love Somebody- Jordin Sparks
I want to congratulate Jordin Sparks for being the Season 6's American Idol. Although honestly, I like Melinda Dolittle among the three, I think Jordin deserves to spark. I didn't get the chance to regularly watch American Idol, but I think those trios: Jordin, Blake and Melinda were quite good, especially Blake's beat box style. So cute and charming.

Lyka and I went on Indang yesterday for the sportsfest of the District of Cavite held at Cavite State University, although we went there via bus, it's quite a good journey, but 2 hrs of travelling is so exhausting and the bus fare is quite expensive, 50 pesos per head so if you plan to go to somewhere beyond Cavite, be sure to bring lots of food, water and money. Cavsu is quite large especially it's field, they have track field, auditorium, volleyball court, lawn tennis court, a grandstand and a basketball court, so walking is quite an exercise for us. We get to meet Joselle there and we like we've never met for almost a year! We talked about so many things. The rain ruined the sportsfest but I think I'm quite happy because I get to meet lots of people.

Later on, me and some of my co-choir members will attend the "Himig Kasiglahan" in Trece Martires, it's a choir competition,which unfortunately, we have been eliminated. Out of 39, I think who joined, 12 got in and guess at what rank are we? 13! haha. It's quite close for us to join the finals. Just a litte more practice and we will be able to join the "Himig for Kasiglahan". But that's ok, it's also our brethren who will sing so what's the point on being jealous.

Last night, I have made a 'Keepsake Notebook' to help me remember things that I organize literally. I write in that notebook my favorite quotes, What makes a healthy day (which includes the things that I should not forget), budgeting money and things that will help me organize myself this opening of classes. I think I should be grade concern, gc, health conscious, social consious, mentally conscious and most of all spiritually conscious. I will try to obey all my writings in that notebook...hopefully.

I am thinking, what will might happen this school year? Oh! wait do I have to think? I think I already found the answer, at least, expect the "WORST" to happen, so I will not be shocked. Maybe I will always hate my day, maybe i will not enough sleep again, will not have good manners again, will be again stacked by tons of assignments, having sleepless nights on rushed portfolio, rushed projects, rushed reports, rushed assignments, rushed written report, all RUSHED! I maybe also get headaches on those mind wracking subjects: Finite Math, Calculus, Analytical Geometry, Advance Chemistry, the never-dying, blood boiling Physics! Nightmare? ha... My 3 years life in Masci has always been nightmare. A 10-month long nightmare. Good thing, I am already a senior, so konting tiis na lang.

Basta, I will obey all the things that I have written in my "keepsake notebook". Occasionally na lang siguro ako makakapag-update ng blog due to hectic schedule and heavy traffic of course.

By the way I just finished 3 books: Pride and Prejudice, The Alchemist and Tuesday's with Morrie. Again Don't tell mom!

Kim is Finally Back!

Well after the long days of making myself the most pathetic person ever lived in this world, after the 6 long, hell days of my life, thank God! my prayers are answered, even though we were still not talking and explaining things to each other, at least I've realized that my life still has to go on, after what that person did. Yes, I know that I have mistakes too, but after what that person did I think, it's better off this way. What I hate when people get angry is that they were taken by their emotions, doing things unconsiderably without thinking what might urge other people to think to them like that. I tell that person that I never made "plastic" to that person, I treat that person as a friend and it seems that this used to be small fight turned into a huge fight that I can't tell if I can recover to it. But even though, we will fixed this thing, I think I will not be anymore the same person that that person knows.
I think this is for the best, changing everything and fixing everything. I must get serious by now, no more malls during fridays and go straight home! Finale! This is the period where will I build and design my future and I'm getting it no matter what.

After prayers and cryings, I think I regain my strength and although i may be weak at times, I know that I became much much stronger because I know that when I am weak that's when I am strong. Yes, I do remember the days that we shared but I think that those days will be just beautiful memories.


*Sighs*. Whata life! Good thing I watched Shrek 3 this afternoon with my brother, we have some kind of bondings. After our simulation test in at our review classes, I headed home and went to SM to watch Shrek. And I laugh and laugh. I like Shrek's babies, they are cute but at the same time scary! haha. Next, I want to watch Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End. I love films like that.

So goodbye for now.

Feared

Currently Listening: The Water is Wide- Charlotte Church
I'm still feeling bad today and I break down last night again, I just don't know what happened to me, maybe it's natural from every teens since we are in the stage of maturity. My feelings were quite weird, weird enough to be expressed on my words. I know no one can understand what I'm going through, because I also can't understand myself. It's so complicated. I try to organize my thoughts but it's still cumbersome and everytime I think of the bright side I'm ending up looking stupid and feeling stupid about myself. Why do I feel fear? I'm feeling afraid of making mistakes again because I don't want to hurt myself and most especially somebody else. Is it natural to be on this critical and crucial stage in life. My feelings are just too heavy, somethings bothering me and the only thing I turned to is God. I prayed to Him to give extra strength and faith, I really feel terrible.
I know now that you can't control people's minds, they have the freedom to think whatever they want to think, that you can never please anyone, that you can't expect that they will give the same amount of love you offered to them and that can only be found in God. Lately I've been so sentimental, whenever I'm alone I tend to drown myself with thoughts that even I could not completely comprehend. I am not happy for now. I know that fact, I feel really terrible. It's like I've killed a dozen people to feel terrible like this. But despite of all, I am trying to be happy and to laugh because I know that this feeling will pass away, soon. I'm praying and I have faith in my prayers.
*Sighs!* i cannot find words to describe enough my feeling. I feel sorry for myself because, even though I tried to be strong, I still ended up being the weakest person. No matter how I tried not to cry, tears still flow through my face and I can't control that. I am afraid that things around might change someday and I won't be able to fit in anymore, I'm afraid that I will loss my family, my true friends, my religion and everything that I cherish the most. I am afraid to sail alone in this world and mostly I am afraid to change what I am. I still want to be vibrant, free-spirited and always laughing, I don't want to people to know that I am emotional, sentimental, sensitive, hot-tempered, perfectionist and selfish.
I didn't know what will happen next, what I learned is that you can't predict what might tomorrow and you can't change the past, even if you still regretted it.
I know I have to focus now, seriously in my studies, but why on earth that this feelings whatsoever, is currently happening to me? How could I study? Hate it!
But I have faith and I hope I will triumphantly pass this stage.

"Strength lies in differences, not in similarities."-Stephen Covey

...

Yesterday was a bad day for me. No, a dreadful day for me. I didn't expect that something will happen like that. I didn't want to narrate it publicly and I want to say that i am not perfect, every people makes mistakes that they didn't intend to do due to many factors and we can't control that factor. Damn! I hate this life. Many people expect me to be the kindest person around, but God! It's hard to be that kind of person. Even way back elementary, some of my classmates thinks that I am "uto-uto". Well, that's my mistake, I didn't know how to be strong. Well I will proudly say that

I AM BAD!!!

. Hello? I made mistakes too, im a weak person. The thing that I don't understand is that when I make mistakes, ang balik ng karma sa akin ay sobrang bigat, that it seems that I've killed a dozen persons. Damn! Am I the only person in the world who made mistakes? I am not perfect, and "being" perfect is too far from my personality. I get angry, irritated, jealous and envy too, because I am not the most beautiful, the smartest the liveliest the most joyful, the most articulate, the cutest and all the most in this world, I think I am the dumbest and most stupid person in this world because of my mind's complexity and no matter how hard I try to explain myself to the person I didn't intentionally want to hurt, they just didn't understand it, because I am nothing. Yes, I get angry and irritated, jealous and envy about other people, but I didn't let that feelings ruin my day or other people's day.

I cried last night, I really wanted to cry because being perfect is the last thing that I will do. I made mistakes, I care for that person, I want that person to have a good life and it hurts me when that person will says that I am "plastic" just because that person have read which was misinterpreted. Other people may judge other people by what they see but I don't judge that person for being like that. And I am sorry if that person misinterpreted everything. I am just trying to help even though that person didn't know, and if that person tends to reads this post. I just want to say sorry, we've been friends, but if you don't want to understand me then that's your choice, all I want is for your own good. But I think, I am already hurt, I know that we are both hurt, I know that I hurt you "unintentionally", believe me it's not what I meant, but knowing that just because of that incident someone will get angry and waste away the friendship, man that is for me the hardest and I am really hurt.

This incident made me feel I am the wasted, the meanest and the most uncaring friend in the world. God! And I can still feel it now, I think everything in me changes, and I am afraid that people will also change. Sorry, I am so sorry. For the friends I've hurt and will be hurt, but I wish that they will understand me, but it seems that they didn't because i didn't know....
Maybe the saying is true: "We cannot have the same amout of love we give because a "perfectly mutual and reciprocal love" can only be found in God". You may give your love for the people you cared for but don't expect that they will give the same amount of love that you want for you to have.

Of Many Things to be Celebrated...

I am supposed to update my blog last Sunday for a special article for my mom because of the Mother's Day. And now I think this blog update will be quite long, first of all there are some things that need to give a shout:

Happy B-day Bro!

. My brother is officialy in it's 14th year of age, 14 years making his ate's life miserable.But honestly it's fun, and I will definitely miss him again when he gone to stay at the dorm in Pisay. It's such a lousy and lonely day when I came home tired and exhausted without seeing him making fun of me. But that's life, missing a person makes you realize how much you miss him. Bad for me, I still haven't a gift for him, maybe I will buy something tomorrow at Robinson's after review classes and unfortunately I still didn't know what it is. Maybe a gameboy player? or a polo shirt? or an avatar dvd? My brother doesn't expect extravagant and expensive gifts. You can satisfy him with just a simple movie, like his awaited Avatar 3 and having party with his friends. Unlike me, just like what my mother always blurt out: "Hindi mo gayahin yang kapatid mo, matipid. Hindi katulad mo magastos, hindi ka nga naghahanda pero kung i-blow-out at magpabili ka naman ng regalo daig mo pa nagpa-party. Then I will desperately say: Pero ma...!Then she will add:Anong ma! Mangangatwiran kananaman? blah....blah.... Then the rest is history. Dyan na magsisimula ang long awaited, never-ending world war namin between the giant mother and the helpless daughter. I will admit, I more extravagant and more expensive buyer than my brother and I am sometimes thankful and not so thankful about this "gift"! haha... I call this a "gift" and somewhat a skill, because begging my dad to buy me this is not an easy task to do. It takes me a lot of effort and "I love you'sss" to do that..hehe...Bad me!Anyways, I will "try" hard to change this "gift". I will soon get over it.
So what's my wish for my brother, that he will reduce his computer addiction dahil medyo nagiging kamukha niya na yung computer. Joke! Seriously I want him to be happy and successful in all the endeavors that he will do in his life, whether academic or extra-curricular, I want him to have good friends and most of all I want him to keep intact with his faith. I want him to have good health and he must always remember that me, mom and dad will be always beside me and will always support him.

This sketch was courtesy of Kuya Juri, he was really good and made a good picture of my brother. But I think this is not my brother because the picture is just perfect!

With my cousins, hanging around our house at Kokoy's b-day.

Mae, Me and Maics

Mae, Maics with the Birthday boy!
Then, happy Mother's day to my beloved and most treasured mom, although I have no gifts for her (as usual), I offered her lots of kisses and hugssess. I do the house chores and have watched a movie at our house together. We watched "family stone", about motherhood and love, we love it we finish watching movies at 11 pm and we go to bed together. I was listening to my ipod that night and she suddenly took the other earphone and we shared by listening to music of Maksim which is her favorite also, Nocture in E Flat Major which I will play at the recital. Good thing the light was turned off because I suddenly cried. I don't know, maybe I felt mom's love and her industriousness in all the things that she has done for us. I cried and I didn't want mom to see that because I didn't have an answer why I was crying. I really love and I want to her to know, not just verbally but also doing the things that I am expected to do.

So this concludes my day and the highlights of the things that happen to me, only weeks to me counted and we were again back to school, wearing our uniforms and again, under the influence of many assingnments and never ending projects. Bye!