Settling Our Differences

White is he, black is she.
One room vacant, other is a wreck...
Hitler he maybe, but poor I’m a Jew.
He is Alpha, not me an Omega.
He is the younger one and I’m the older.

We just clash in every countenance life could offer- outlook, opinions, belief, food, money, etc. We were like made to negate each other. We were like opposite poles that will never, never attract each other. I’m not saying this in the full context, of course, times are there when we were like angels, tralalalala just playing and fooling around, mocking each other to every possible way and I love it—and I miss those times. He wants me to be a person that he wants me to be and no matter how I tried to be “someone”, I am not just that. I have been trying to change some faults in me lately, but as I look at it, it seems that this faultiness of mine is the one who haunts me back. I hope I could be enlightened by Hitler and make peace with him already.

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In silence there is reverie,
That could kill.
Paper awaits me in patience.
True joy found at last!

A friend of mine says that I am too “concealed” (malihim in Tagalog). Admittedly yes, but you might be mistaken me hiding a secret dungeon built under my house, catacombs everywhere, where I say chants and light some stuffs and offer human blood to the god of whatever god it may be, or someone who lurks the streets in the night carrying a dagger, stabbing someone who passes by. Nah, though I am in the brink of becoming one ;D. Ok, just kidding. Yes, I have this incessant stream of thoughts that creeps the gray matter in me, sometimes helpful, but many times a nuisance. Of course I can’t blurt out everything that comes to my mind because people think that I am insane, though sanity is the last thing in my mind. My friend, I think still doesn’t know me for sure. He’ll (remains anonymous) never thought that I own a blog, writing sluggish things on it and he’ll never will ever think that in writing I can be freely myself. If only my mind could be at peace sometimes, just like a river flowing smoothly in a river bank, no turmoil just laying there at peace, under the bright shine of the Sun, where green trees surround it and birds. If only life could be Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty or Jack in the Beanstalk, would life be good?

A Shocking Morning

I checked my e-mail this morning, and I was really shocked, my mouth wide open when I read the news that Michael Jackson died at the age of 50. To tell you frankly, I am not a fan of MJ, in fact the songs that I really know from his are "Heal the World" and "Thriller" only. But reading the tragic news that he died, well even though I'm not a fan, deep down in me I was quite sad about the news. Being part of the music industry for God who knows when, he has become an icon, being regarded as "King of Pop", the world will be never the same without MJ. He suffered from cardiac arrest.

2009, though only halfway of its year, has been an interesting one for everyone of us. Too many signs of I might dare to say "death". There's the influenza A(H1N1) virus, numerous hurricanes, deaths of famous people, etc. etc. The world is just "not" getting better. Yeah, I'm serious. This is not an update just for the sake of updating and I am not here also to have a big impact on this world 'cause that would be too ambitious. Whether someone is reading this blog or not, I'm just saying that if you ever have been an observable one, this world is not getting its best treatment. And sadly, we are the ones who suffer, a lot I might say. What to do?
I, too don't have the slightest idea.

Gnothi Seauton

Gnothi Seauton by all means "Know Thyself". I am reading this book of Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth and I was deeply mesmerized by how sort of a whimsical effect it brought me. I can't say that it brought major changes in my life but it does however causes some shift to my mindset. You may categorize this book to a "self-help" book, but who cares? Everyone needs help. Right now, just before heading to school tomorrow I have to finish this one. The fact is, I am quite proud of myself because I was able to finish 4 books this summer, yay! Kudos for my relentless enthusiastic desire for books. Too bad I won't be able to read more this school year. Anyway, that will even make it more exciting.

I am actually trying to squeeze everything I want to do on this day. Tomorrow is the first day of my life so I have to make the most out of it this day. Good thing is, we don't have classes every Monday so good for me and my body. Here are the things that I've actually able to pull off this summer:

1. A moment ago, I just finished giving my filthy room a major clean-up. I want everything to be prep up before school starts. :)

2. I think, I have done my job as a good and caring big sister for taking care of my baby sis. Waking up really early in the morning, singing nursery rhymes to her, and the list goes on. :))

3. I have once again memorized all the nursery rhymes and even those childish songs from far away, courtesy of my baby sis. Itsy Bitsy Spider, went up the water spout, lalala.

4. I have learned how to Photoshop! Finally, after nights of devoting prayers, I have finally learned it. It was quite amazing the joy Photoshop brought me and the credits I get from the people. Check out my MULTIPLY.

5. I surprisingly made 3 multiply lay-outs from my friends, I owe it to Photoshop a lot! But sad to say, though I want to learn the CSS and Text Pattern, I wasn't able to do so 'cause its like a different language. haha.

6. I manage to read 4 books this summer though the last one is still on pending but I will finish it later. Ken Follett's Pillars, World and Dangerous Fortune and Tolle's A New Earth. Love all those books.

7. Out with my friends. I have been on MOA with Carlota, my bestfriend visiting me in my house and have some movie marathon. Its just wonderful!

8. I also spent some time alone, whether at home or alone watching movies in the cinema. I never thought I'd enjoy it. hahaha.

9. Visit my old piano pieces. Too bad I wasn't able to have my regular piano practice now and my dream of playing Liebestraum in piano seems impossible, at least for now.

10. Time with La Salle people. I am now part of the Biology Program Council in La Salle, so I got to spend 1/8 of my summer in school. I enjoy their company so much.

Tomorrow will be the start of everything. I will be delve once more in stress, pressure and misery. And I won't promise that I will be able to post on this blog regularly. But I will really try. Besides, writing seems to a good way to ESCAPE everything.

We All Have Our Stories

Spending time alone makes you ponder somethings in life, essential things in fact. Its really nice to meet new people from different walks of life, you will never miss a chance to gain something from them. That in the end of the day, you realized how blessed you are in life and dissatisfaction is the last thing on earth you have to worried about. I have learned, yes I have learned that we are all seeking for special attention. We want to feel loved and admired by someone. We want to impress them and leave a mark on them. Its very rewarding but at the end, you would say that its the life that each of us is programmed to do?

Defining the true meaning of life really takes time, it takes lots of experience and we really have to work hard for it. I am not in the right position to explain LIFE right now, 'cause I believe that I am still not halfway of what I am suppose to finish.