Baby-Sitting

I have been baby sitting for almost 2 weeks now. Almost, because its Friday today. Mind you, baby sitting is not an easy task especially when the one you're baby sitting is as murderous as my little sister. Hahaha. That may exaggerate things a little bit but its quite true, though. Ah! For almost 2 weeks I am now an expert when it comes to nursery rhymes and songs. I have known they already by heart that I could recite, sing with a matching dance interpretation. The songs are stuck in my head that I could actually sing them while I'm sleeping. Baby-sitting is fun. Yeah! Fun, in the sense that I should clean up poos, learn to change diapers, play basketball, get myself downright dirty, eat jelly aces, "un"- clutter "cluttered" things, stuff like that. There are times I lose my patience and get really temperamental, added the heat that is barely tolerable.

While baby-sitting, it made think of things lately. On what might happen this incoming school year. Now that I'm in 3rd year college, not long enough, I'll be graduating with Latin Honor (this would be lovely), we'll be going somewhere outside the country, I'll have a car (yeah, I know how to drive already =) and I'll be going to MED SCHOOL! That's it. Working to be a doctor, what could be more fulfilling than that? But oh! I'm aware of what should I have to go through. I'm aware of the fact that graduating with Latin Honor would really test my ability and most especially my faith. I have been very fortunate to gather some useful information from my reliable college friends. They warned me to be careful in Histology. Huhu, and honestly I'm already fidgetting about it. But I'm quite sick and tired of worrying, so the best thing that I could possibly do is to expect the worse, do my ultimate best and have FAITH!

So I guess, this sums it up. Till next time. :)

Too Thankful!

With my recent fretting about my grade in Chem, finally I have come across Doc Sam and I was really surprised the moment I saw my grade. Angels from heavens sing: "Hallelujah". Finally, finally, finally I can sleep well and breath well. There's like a big chunk of bone stuck on your throat that has been removed! What a great feeling. I bring back all of these to Him. Thank you po! I promise that I'll never have that feeling of anxiety ever again next sem. I really hate that kind of feeling.

I have been trying to make myself busy these days but it seems that all that I'm planning to do won't work out because I always ended up sleeping. I sleep like there's no tomorrow. Well anyway, I'm barely not sleeping during school days, its as if sleeping is a luxury that cannot be bought, my body is only asking some sleep. hahaha.

I have been back with editing and blogging! I have been using Adobe Photoshop CS 4 and I'm still have lots of learning and studying to do. If only my laptop could have a bigger space... can someone buy me an external memory drive 500 GB or 1 TB?! hahaha. Or, or I could buy Macbook 1 TB and enjoy my life. Ooooo! I have been really itching to buy one, but I have to wait until med school.

Honestly right now, I have lots of things that I want but it seems that it could only be possible just by imagining it. "If only I could buy this, or buy that..." "If only I have the infinite money...", too many ifs, that's why I'm really trying hard to study so those "ifs" will turn to reality.

Well, I have to be thankful on what I have right now and have to live a better life.

:)

New Soul

I dedicate Yael Naim's song "New Soul" for my new baby sister.

New Soul
Yael Naim

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.
But since I came here,
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

I'm a young soul
In this very strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake
But why all this hate?
Try to communicate
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make

la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

This is a happy end
'Cause you don't understand
Everything you have done
Why's everything so wrong?
This is a happy end
Come and give me your hand
I'll take you far away

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.
But since I came here,
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

I'm a new soul... (la, la, la, la,...)
In this very strange world...
Every possible mistake
Possible mistake
Every possible mistake
Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes...
Take take take take take... take a mistake
Take, take a mistake
Take, take a mistake
(oh oh oh oh...)
[fade out]
(oh oh oh oh...)
*Listen to my Playlist -->>>

The moment I saw my baby sister, my oh my, a rush of happiness suddenly pours into me. I feel happy and uhm yeah more of a "ate". She's the cutest and the most adorable. She is so healthy. By the way, her was is Kiersten, nickname is "Ken", sorta like a boyish name but I think it's cool. Mom derived her name from Kirsten Dunst, she really want that name for me and I still have no idea how she ended up giving me the name "kimberly".



Well anyway, Ken is such a darling, darling darling. I ended up looking at her most of the time. Touching her beautiful, delicate, baby-soft skin and her oh so charming eyes. She got the eyes from me! She is quite long/tall also and her cheeks are blushing whenever she sneezes or yawn. It's just that I felt that she is my own baby. Like looking at her, and your problems and worries will be instantly blanched.

Whenever I carried her, she really likes it, she stops crying and
I really feel so "ate". She is a darling, darling baby. She doesn't like her crib and she always cries whenever she was left alone there. Maybe, she can sense that she has a belongingness whenever she is being carried and she can feel warmth from everybody. I slept at the hospital so that me and Dad can take rounds. Relatives also visit and how they adore such baby!

I love babies, just as i love cats or kittens. There's just this innocence that's very transparent whenever you look them at their eyes, it just overflows and I like that feeling. Washing away all worries and distressed and whatever anxiety we feel.

Message to my dear, dear baby sister: (so emo!)

My dear baby sister,

As you read this message maybe you are now a full-pledged teenager who also worry about many problems, or maybe a rocketing scientist you invents stuffs,and or maybe a musician like a pianist or a violinist or maybe an opera singer! Anything in this world! I don't know. And I, maybe a doctor or if not a doctor a person who wanders around.
I know, it's not that easy but it's really not that bad also. I have also gone through that and man, I tell you there are times when I feel so hopeless and helpless and worst of all FAITHLESS!!! But my dear, don't let anything or anyone put you down. Don't ever forger that your ever-loving big sister is always here to understand... to listen... and to love. I don't want you to commit mistakes that I have done, that I have really regretted and always regretted.
LIFE is a four-letter word! But it really means something, in fact in means your whole being.
My dear baby sister, I want you to be brave, to consider, to be strong, to be independent and to be faithful! I love you always.

Your dearest big sister,
Kim

The OVERJOYED big sister!

No Glass Ceiling Just Blue Sky

Marcy Blochowiak has enjoyed remarkable success at a very young age. She has built a team of thousands by using a secret weapon...

Here are her few secrets to success...ENJOY!

BELIEVE AND ACHIEVE...
The only thing that stands between a person and what they want in life is the WILL to try it and the FAITH to believe it is POSSIBLE.

DO MORE THAN IS EXPECTED...
and then some.

BUILD RELATIONSHIPS...
Relationships are the glue that holds everthing together. The quality of the relationship will determine the stability of your team.

RESPECT ALL PEOPLE...
The true measure of a person is how they treat someone who can do them absolutely no good--- Ann Landers

KEEP YOUR GOALS IN SIGHT...
Dream BIG dreams, but realize... short term, realistic goals are the keys to success.

KNOW THE POWER OF ENCOURAGEMENT...
Rain and Sun are to the flower as praise and encouragement are to the human spirit.
---Mario Fernandez

MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES...
Right now...today, you are one choice away from a new beginning.

REMOVE THE CHAINS THE BIND YOU...
Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent--- Eleanor Roosevelt

KNOW THE POWER OF KINDNESS...
Acts of kindness are simply the result of living the Golden Rule ...which should be rule no.1 on everyone.

COMMIT TO EXCELLENCE...
The secret of joy in work is contained in one word- EXCELLENCE. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it!

KEEP THE FAITH...
FAITH is the ability to believe even though you cannot see.

FIND BALANCE...
Put the big rock (top priorities) first!-- Stephen Covey

TAKE ACTION...
Action is the gas in the tank. Without it the car will not run.

LEAD YOURSELF...
Leader of one, leader of many; if you can't lead one, you can't lead any-- Anonymous

LEARN TO SERVE...
One of the most beautiful compensations in life is that no person can help another without helping themselves.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"When you were born, you were crying, and everyone else was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone else is crying.
---Ralph Waldo Emerson.

MAKE A DIFFERENCE WITH YOUR LIFE

Excerpt from Simple Truths

Life Offers Us Many Things

The Secret Wonder of Life

Today is the official day of the start of our graduation practice and believe me it is surely a tiring and an exhausting practice. We started from 12:00 pm after the test and we finished at around 4:30 pm, the worse thing is that we have to study all these songs in 4 VOICES!!!! What is this the MANILA SCIENCE HIGH SCHOOL CHORALE! As in all the students are in the chorale! that's funny I think. Although, I have no idea how many songs we are going to sing, I think studying them with 4 voices will definitely kill us. Baka lahat kami may sakit sa graduation. We practice the 4voices of "Lupang Hinirang" this afternoon and let me tell you honestly, Alto...hm....doesn't quite get the right tune of the voice. haha... Being an alto really needs a lot of concentration and constant practice. So cross fingers for tomorrow.

Nakapagpadagdag pa sa kapaguran ngayong araw na ito ay ang pagpapraktis ng sayaw. We are practicing a social dance for our requirements in MAPEH and I am gonna dance in 2 groups! Cha cha cha and swing! What a multi-tasker am i! haha...

Anyways, GgG had some reunion at Mcdo today and it's quite good because at least i felt that we are still intact as a group and friends. We discussed some problems and I will pray that everything will gonna be alright.

You know, sometimes life has its way in teaching us lessons and realizing things that will make great importance in our lives, though at first life seems to be unfair and we seem to get hurt by all the things that are happening, I think it's the ONLY way that life help to be a BETTER person.

So live life at its fullest now!

Life is a Carousel

They say that Life is a Carousel. Sometimes you're up sometimes you're down. At this point in my life, I am facing the BIGGEST challenges ever and right now, I am at the lowest point.

I didn't pass UP..... so there's a catch.


Regrets are flying all over my head...... If only.... If I could...If I could just have....

There's a time that tears will suddenly run down thru my face without knowing it. There are times that I just want to be happy and forget everything.

UP is the school for me....I think. It's my only chance....My one and only chance.

I pass UST... with a course in Biology.... but.....

There's the but.....

But that's a Catholic University of the Philippines. Though persuing my medical dreams at UST would be a great alternative for UP. It still won't work out. It's against what WE believe.

I am now enrolling at DLSU-D. I don't know. I am not sure. I have already DONE a bad thing now and I still want to do more.

I don't deserve this..... do i?

Yes.... for heaven's sake.... I know I deserve this DOWNFALL.

I envy so many people....

But the most desirable thing that I want....

still...

at the end...

I FAILED to achieve it.

You know why on f*cking earth I do study in Masci?.....

Because i want to study at UP.....

Sorry for the obscene word but my emotions are still at it's highest point and I want the world to know.....

that.....

taking for granted and being HAPPY-GO-LUCKY doesn't do anything good in your life.....

There are times that I feel that I am studying at UP and I am living my dreams at it's fullest......

Damn those moments....

I know that not passing in UP doesn't mean you're gonna end your life and you're career.....

But I who have studied in MASCI.....

This is the end......

Do I regret studying at Masci?.....

Sometimes....yess....

But many times no...............

I have been crying for almost 3 WEEKS.....

I have been down for almost 3 WEEKS.....

I have been with a fight with my parents for almost 3 WEEKS....

My parents have once told me na nagbago daw ako... wala daw akong ginawa kundi maggala, di na daw ako nag-aaral.... kaya eto ang consequence na kailangan kong harapin.... TRUTH REALLY HURTS. I have to face the fact na totoo yung sinasabi nila. That's why I really hate myself now. Hindi naman ako ganito dati, hindi ako sanay sa mga galaan, I study my lessons really hard. Nung grade school, I seldom get a failing grade on quizzes and test. But now, ok lang sa akin kahit mababa yung mga scores ko.... Ang ipinagtataka ko lang. Why on earth that when I studied at Masci.... I have seem to take advantage on all things....I have taken for granted all the things. Nawala na sa isip ko yung UP. Maybe there are those temptations that surrounds me.... malls, peer pressure. Ang bigat bigat pa rin ng loob ko ngayon. I still want to cry. Pero may magagawa pa ba ako? Meron....gagawa ako ng TIME MACHINE para pabalikin ang oras. But I can't do that. That's stupid. I am none-sense. Feeling ko ngayon ay isa akong walang kwentang tao.

I am STILL waiting... that someday.... I will be happy once and for all... but this big blow that happened to me.... I think I will REGRET this FOREVER.

Thank God for Giving me Time

Quote:Nothing is so dear and precious as time.- French Proverb
I Thank God for giving me enough time,
Time to reflect on all the things I have done in my life,
You know it's great that God shows His love in a different way,
Talking to your mother, going to the mall,
He is everything.
He shows His love for us in every possible way that "people we expect" to do it.

Though my life is a journey and I am not still halfway on my journey, though I sometimes don't want to go on anymore because of the bumps and the bruises I receive all the way, though sometimes there's no light to guide me through the way, that choosing the right path is sometimes a hard decision to make because you have no choice. But there's always a choice, it's only in the matter of thinking. God is always there. Even when the road is dark and dreary He is there. I don't know, I just know he is there. He wants us to learn and go back through time and reminesce His love for us. There are so many wonders from God that we have to realize, the wind, the birds, the chiming of the wind bells, the tv, the clothes, the shoes, the piano, the music.... all the things that we are capable of using today it's all God's creation. No wonder man exploited it. *Sighs*. It's really hard and tiring to be good, but's worth it because you are with Him. You find peace and a sense of tranquility within you when you feel Him, it's like you're floating. Lately, I have been dreaming stuffs about my life, schools, family and friends. I don't know maybe dreams are fortellers of the future. I don't know, I just sometimes see that they happen in a coincendental way I dreamt of them. It's wierd. *Sighs*.

Do I want to be a cook? A doctor? An interior designer? A fashion model? A Physics nobelist? So many dreams yet sometimes I feel that it is only through dreaming that I can achieve those dreams. God is powerful, full of wisdom and He knows what better for us. He loves us. He loves His children. He loves me, He loves you. Don't worry. He is always there.

Alone

Feeling uneasy and frustrated about things that happened around me... Ang sama talaga ng ganitong feeling. Gusto kong magtagalog para masabi ang lahat ng mga gusto ko ng hindi nagtatrying hard na mag-English. As you know, may mga bagay sa mundong ito na sadyang hindi natin maintindihan. May mga pagkakataong gusto na nating magpakamatay, umiyak at sumigaw ng napakalakas para maipakita natin ang ating kainisan, galit o anuman na nakapagpapabagabag sa ating kalooban. In life, people seems to be unfair, kahit naman ako minsan unfair din, pero ngayon ang pakiramdam ko mag-isa ako, hindi ako makatagpo ng isang kaibigan na talagang nandyan sa para sa akin, sa dinami daming pagkakataon, maraming tao na akong nakasalamuha pero yung taong magbibigay ng same amount of attention na binibigay ko, parang wala talaga akong makita, totoo hindi nawawala ang bestfriend ko at alam kong "Friendship knows no distance". Pero I'm looking for a friend, hindi bagong bestfriend, just a friend that I know I always can count on too. Nasaktan na ako, umasa, umiyak, thinking na bat sila ganon? They are so unfair, hindi din ba nila maisip ang nararamdaman ko hindi naman ganon ang ipinapakita kong feelings towards sa kanila, I try to show them that I smile even though sobrang lungkot ko. Talang fed up na ako, I am really feeling alone, lahat sila may bestfriend, lahat sila may napagkukwentuhan ng mga bagay na comfortable sa kanila, lahat sila may katext, lahat sila nagtatawanan, while there is me- me who longs for a friend, me who longs for my bestfriend, kung pwede ko lang ipaconvert ang bestfriend ko gagawin ko, kaya nalulungkot din ako. Kasi kahit sa salvation I will be alone. Masakit umasa, masakit ipagsiksikan ang sarili mo sa mga taong ayaw naman o kung hindi ayaw ay hindi nakikisama sa gusto mo. Mahirap na nakikibagay lang sila sayo...yun lang. I wish to find them or her. Masyado lang talagang fed up ang feelings ko ngayon.

Idagdag pa ang personal problems ko, being stupid, lazy, thinking things that are all stupidity. Ewan ko kung maliligtas ako, naging masama akong tao, may mga bagay na kelangan kong dapat matutunan pero pinagwawalang bahala ko, siguro narin sa mga iba't ibang problems. Ang hirap magpakatao. Most of the times kahit kasama ko ang mga friends ko I feel so alone, na parang hindi ko kayang malabas ang mga feelings na dapat ilabas ko, natatakot akong makasakit ng feelings ng iba, natatakot ako dahil baka hindi nila maintindihan. I'm just so afraid. Bakit ganon? Kahit walang pasok ay stressed out ang emotions ko. Please stop, I need some rest. Kelangan kong magpahinga, napapagod na akong masaktan, umasa, makibagay, magbigay ng magbigay pwede bang ako naman ang alagaan, intindihin, pakiusapan, pagbigyan. Pwede ba kahit isang pagkakataon, hindi ako yung makikinig, pwede bang kayo naman yung makinig? Ako naman yung maglalabas ng mga bagay na gusto kong ishare. May nangyayari rin naman sa buhay ko, may mga bagay na nagpapaiyak rin sa akin. Bakit sa tuwing kailangan ko ng tulong ay walang taong nagtatanong..."May problema ka ba?"..."Ok ka lang?"....Kahit yung mga ganong tanong lang ok na sa akin, makagagaaan na ng loob ko....pero ang masakit doon, wala, minsan ay sila pa itong magagalit sa akin dahil napaka-moody ko....bakit kayo hindi ba ganito? Minsan nga kahit ako na walang ginagawa ay pinagbubuntungan niyo ng inis eh. Kahit..."Ok ka lang ba?"...ok na sa akin.... kahit yun lang.....may pakiramdam din naman ako...Sawa na akong magparaya, sawa na akong magbigay, sawa na akong mag-isa, sawa na akong malungkot at sawa ng akong magbigay...Pwede ba? Pakiusap lang naman Po? Pwede po ba....kahit isang beses sa buhay ko bago ako mamatay o matapos ang mundo, may ISANG taong magbibigay importansya sa akin, magpaparaya, iiyak, masasaktan, magtatanong ng "ok ka lang ba?", "May sakit ka ba?", "Musta naman araw mo?" sa akin...Kahit sa huling pagkakataon po....kahit sandali lang po madama ko yun....Masaya na po ako....

Gusto kong umiyak na parang bata, umiyak ng malakas, magwala pero kailangan kong pigilan ang sarili ko dahil ayoko kayong masaktan...