The Himig Kasiglahan and Reunitin with some old friends

Last Sunday,I arrived home at past 12 midnight from "Himig Kasiglahan" in Trece Martires, although it was a bit tiring, watching the contestants from different locale of the district of Cavite singing praises, they have such a good voice and each of everyone of them deserve to win, but in all battle, there is only once Champion and congratulations to : Locale of New Era, dasmariñas Cavite for being the ultimate champion. They have the best voice. I wasn't able to post the videos that i have shoot. Sorry.

Last monday, Diana, my old classmate from CRMI texted me if I will be available on Saturday I said no, so she reschedule our meeting on Wednesday which was yesterday. I have the chance to see them again and I will say Diana is so fat! haha.. Hindi ko aakalain na tataba si diana ng ganon. wahaa. Then Darryl came, with the same height, pero sabi niya tumangkad naman daw siya. They both said that Ara will come, I didn't know that she was already home from Singapore. Well, we've waited so long before she came to SM, like a thousand light years..hehe. But I'm glad that I was still able to see her. I was shocked when she cried when she sees me. She said that she doesn't have friends in Singapore and it is so lonely there. So she cried. And I was touched. We went to take a picture, which I didn't get because I go home earlier than they are, then we eat at Kenny Rogers then we watch Pirates of the Carribean 3!
Reuniting with old friends was a good experience for me especially here comes classes again, I get to think of the happy days that we still have during our elementary days, I never thought that I will still be attached to them, even though I am already studying in Manila and Ara is now in Singapore. It's such a good thing.

In the meantime, I will be an organist at the children's choir. I am so grateful, I know that it is a must-to-do responsibility, but i want it. So i will try everything to fulfill my responsibility.

Ara, Me and Daphnie

Ang arte ni Diana, ayaw pakita fats niya.

Dapat kasama ko si Ara, pero ako lang pinicturan ni Diana, wala lang pang-inis kay ara. hehe

Organizing things and Looking Forward this Opening of Classes

Currently Listening:To Love Somebody- Jordin Sparks
I want to congratulate Jordin Sparks for being the Season 6's American Idol. Although honestly, I like Melinda Dolittle among the three, I think Jordin deserves to spark. I didn't get the chance to regularly watch American Idol, but I think those trios: Jordin, Blake and Melinda were quite good, especially Blake's beat box style. So cute and charming.

Lyka and I went on Indang yesterday for the sportsfest of the District of Cavite held at Cavite State University, although we went there via bus, it's quite a good journey, but 2 hrs of travelling is so exhausting and the bus fare is quite expensive, 50 pesos per head so if you plan to go to somewhere beyond Cavite, be sure to bring lots of food, water and money. Cavsu is quite large especially it's field, they have track field, auditorium, volleyball court, lawn tennis court, a grandstand and a basketball court, so walking is quite an exercise for us. We get to meet Joselle there and we like we've never met for almost a year! We talked about so many things. The rain ruined the sportsfest but I think I'm quite happy because I get to meet lots of people.

Later on, me and some of my co-choir members will attend the "Himig Kasiglahan" in Trece Martires, it's a choir competition,which unfortunately, we have been eliminated. Out of 39, I think who joined, 12 got in and guess at what rank are we? 13! haha. It's quite close for us to join the finals. Just a litte more practice and we will be able to join the "Himig for Kasiglahan". But that's ok, it's also our brethren who will sing so what's the point on being jealous.

Last night, I have made a 'Keepsake Notebook' to help me remember things that I organize literally. I write in that notebook my favorite quotes, What makes a healthy day (which includes the things that I should not forget), budgeting money and things that will help me organize myself this opening of classes. I think I should be grade concern, gc, health conscious, social consious, mentally conscious and most of all spiritually conscious. I will try to obey all my writings in that notebook...hopefully.

I am thinking, what will might happen this school year? Oh! wait do I have to think? I think I already found the answer, at least, expect the "WORST" to happen, so I will not be shocked. Maybe I will always hate my day, maybe i will not enough sleep again, will not have good manners again, will be again stacked by tons of assignments, having sleepless nights on rushed portfolio, rushed projects, rushed reports, rushed assignments, rushed written report, all RUSHED! I maybe also get headaches on those mind wracking subjects: Finite Math, Calculus, Analytical Geometry, Advance Chemistry, the never-dying, blood boiling Physics! Nightmare? ha... My 3 years life in Masci has always been nightmare. A 10-month long nightmare. Good thing, I am already a senior, so konting tiis na lang.

Basta, I will obey all the things that I have written in my "keepsake notebook". Occasionally na lang siguro ako makakapag-update ng blog due to hectic schedule and heavy traffic of course.

By the way I just finished 3 books: Pride and Prejudice, The Alchemist and Tuesday's with Morrie. Again Don't tell mom!

Kim is Finally Back!

Well after the long days of making myself the most pathetic person ever lived in this world, after the 6 long, hell days of my life, thank God! my prayers are answered, even though we were still not talking and explaining things to each other, at least I've realized that my life still has to go on, after what that person did. Yes, I know that I have mistakes too, but after what that person did I think, it's better off this way. What I hate when people get angry is that they were taken by their emotions, doing things unconsiderably without thinking what might urge other people to think to them like that. I tell that person that I never made "plastic" to that person, I treat that person as a friend and it seems that this used to be small fight turned into a huge fight that I can't tell if I can recover to it. But even though, we will fixed this thing, I think I will not be anymore the same person that that person knows.
I think this is for the best, changing everything and fixing everything. I must get serious by now, no more malls during fridays and go straight home! Finale! This is the period where will I build and design my future and I'm getting it no matter what.

After prayers and cryings, I think I regain my strength and although i may be weak at times, I know that I became much much stronger because I know that when I am weak that's when I am strong. Yes, I do remember the days that we shared but I think that those days will be just beautiful memories.


*Sighs*. Whata life! Good thing I watched Shrek 3 this afternoon with my brother, we have some kind of bondings. After our simulation test in at our review classes, I headed home and went to SM to watch Shrek. And I laugh and laugh. I like Shrek's babies, they are cute but at the same time scary! haha. Next, I want to watch Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End. I love films like that.

So goodbye for now.

Feared

Currently Listening: The Water is Wide- Charlotte Church
I'm still feeling bad today and I break down last night again, I just don't know what happened to me, maybe it's natural from every teens since we are in the stage of maturity. My feelings were quite weird, weird enough to be expressed on my words. I know no one can understand what I'm going through, because I also can't understand myself. It's so complicated. I try to organize my thoughts but it's still cumbersome and everytime I think of the bright side I'm ending up looking stupid and feeling stupid about myself. Why do I feel fear? I'm feeling afraid of making mistakes again because I don't want to hurt myself and most especially somebody else. Is it natural to be on this critical and crucial stage in life. My feelings are just too heavy, somethings bothering me and the only thing I turned to is God. I prayed to Him to give extra strength and faith, I really feel terrible.
I know now that you can't control people's minds, they have the freedom to think whatever they want to think, that you can never please anyone, that you can't expect that they will give the same amount of love you offered to them and that can only be found in God. Lately I've been so sentimental, whenever I'm alone I tend to drown myself with thoughts that even I could not completely comprehend. I am not happy for now. I know that fact, I feel really terrible. It's like I've killed a dozen people to feel terrible like this. But despite of all, I am trying to be happy and to laugh because I know that this feeling will pass away, soon. I'm praying and I have faith in my prayers.
*Sighs!* i cannot find words to describe enough my feeling. I feel sorry for myself because, even though I tried to be strong, I still ended up being the weakest person. No matter how I tried not to cry, tears still flow through my face and I can't control that. I am afraid that things around might change someday and I won't be able to fit in anymore, I'm afraid that I will loss my family, my true friends, my religion and everything that I cherish the most. I am afraid to sail alone in this world and mostly I am afraid to change what I am. I still want to be vibrant, free-spirited and always laughing, I don't want to people to know that I am emotional, sentimental, sensitive, hot-tempered, perfectionist and selfish.
I didn't know what will happen next, what I learned is that you can't predict what might tomorrow and you can't change the past, even if you still regretted it.
I know I have to focus now, seriously in my studies, but why on earth that this feelings whatsoever, is currently happening to me? How could I study? Hate it!
But I have faith and I hope I will triumphantly pass this stage.

"Strength lies in differences, not in similarities."-Stephen Covey

...

Yesterday was a bad day for me. No, a dreadful day for me. I didn't expect that something will happen like that. I didn't want to narrate it publicly and I want to say that i am not perfect, every people makes mistakes that they didn't intend to do due to many factors and we can't control that factor. Damn! I hate this life. Many people expect me to be the kindest person around, but God! It's hard to be that kind of person. Even way back elementary, some of my classmates thinks that I am "uto-uto". Well, that's my mistake, I didn't know how to be strong. Well I will proudly say that

I AM BAD!!!

. Hello? I made mistakes too, im a weak person. The thing that I don't understand is that when I make mistakes, ang balik ng karma sa akin ay sobrang bigat, that it seems that I've killed a dozen persons. Damn! Am I the only person in the world who made mistakes? I am not perfect, and "being" perfect is too far from my personality. I get angry, irritated, jealous and envy too, because I am not the most beautiful, the smartest the liveliest the most joyful, the most articulate, the cutest and all the most in this world, I think I am the dumbest and most stupid person in this world because of my mind's complexity and no matter how hard I try to explain myself to the person I didn't intentionally want to hurt, they just didn't understand it, because I am nothing. Yes, I get angry and irritated, jealous and envy about other people, but I didn't let that feelings ruin my day or other people's day.

I cried last night, I really wanted to cry because being perfect is the last thing that I will do. I made mistakes, I care for that person, I want that person to have a good life and it hurts me when that person will says that I am "plastic" just because that person have read which was misinterpreted. Other people may judge other people by what they see but I don't judge that person for being like that. And I am sorry if that person misinterpreted everything. I am just trying to help even though that person didn't know, and if that person tends to reads this post. I just want to say sorry, we've been friends, but if you don't want to understand me then that's your choice, all I want is for your own good. But I think, I am already hurt, I know that we are both hurt, I know that I hurt you "unintentionally", believe me it's not what I meant, but knowing that just because of that incident someone will get angry and waste away the friendship, man that is for me the hardest and I am really hurt.

This incident made me feel I am the wasted, the meanest and the most uncaring friend in the world. God! And I can still feel it now, I think everything in me changes, and I am afraid that people will also change. Sorry, I am so sorry. For the friends I've hurt and will be hurt, but I wish that they will understand me, but it seems that they didn't because i didn't know....
Maybe the saying is true: "We cannot have the same amout of love we give because a "perfectly mutual and reciprocal love" can only be found in God". You may give your love for the people you cared for but don't expect that they will give the same amount of love that you want for you to have.

Of Many Things to be Celebrated...

I am supposed to update my blog last Sunday for a special article for my mom because of the Mother's Day. And now I think this blog update will be quite long, first of all there are some things that need to give a shout:

Happy B-day Bro!

. My brother is officialy in it's 14th year of age, 14 years making his ate's life miserable.But honestly it's fun, and I will definitely miss him again when he gone to stay at the dorm in Pisay. It's such a lousy and lonely day when I came home tired and exhausted without seeing him making fun of me. But that's life, missing a person makes you realize how much you miss him. Bad for me, I still haven't a gift for him, maybe I will buy something tomorrow at Robinson's after review classes and unfortunately I still didn't know what it is. Maybe a gameboy player? or a polo shirt? or an avatar dvd? My brother doesn't expect extravagant and expensive gifts. You can satisfy him with just a simple movie, like his awaited Avatar 3 and having party with his friends. Unlike me, just like what my mother always blurt out: "Hindi mo gayahin yang kapatid mo, matipid. Hindi katulad mo magastos, hindi ka nga naghahanda pero kung i-blow-out at magpabili ka naman ng regalo daig mo pa nagpa-party. Then I will desperately say: Pero ma...!Then she will add:Anong ma! Mangangatwiran kananaman? blah....blah.... Then the rest is history. Dyan na magsisimula ang long awaited, never-ending world war namin between the giant mother and the helpless daughter. I will admit, I more extravagant and more expensive buyer than my brother and I am sometimes thankful and not so thankful about this "gift"! haha... I call this a "gift" and somewhat a skill, because begging my dad to buy me this is not an easy task to do. It takes me a lot of effort and "I love you'sss" to do that..hehe...Bad me!Anyways, I will "try" hard to change this "gift". I will soon get over it.
So what's my wish for my brother, that he will reduce his computer addiction dahil medyo nagiging kamukha niya na yung computer. Joke! Seriously I want him to be happy and successful in all the endeavors that he will do in his life, whether academic or extra-curricular, I want him to have good friends and most of all I want him to keep intact with his faith. I want him to have good health and he must always remember that me, mom and dad will be always beside me and will always support him.

This sketch was courtesy of Kuya Juri, he was really good and made a good picture of my brother. But I think this is not my brother because the picture is just perfect!

With my cousins, hanging around our house at Kokoy's b-day.

Mae, Me and Maics

Mae, Maics with the Birthday boy!
Then, happy Mother's day to my beloved and most treasured mom, although I have no gifts for her (as usual), I offered her lots of kisses and hugssess. I do the house chores and have watched a movie at our house together. We watched "family stone", about motherhood and love, we love it we finish watching movies at 11 pm and we go to bed together. I was listening to my ipod that night and she suddenly took the other earphone and we shared by listening to music of Maksim which is her favorite also, Nocture in E Flat Major which I will play at the recital. Good thing the light was turned off because I suddenly cried. I don't know, maybe I felt mom's love and her industriousness in all the things that she has done for us. I cried and I didn't want mom to see that because I didn't have an answer why I was crying. I really love and I want to her to know, not just verbally but also doing the things that I am expected to do.

So this concludes my day and the highlights of the things that happen to me, only weeks to me counted and we were again back to school, wearing our uniforms and again, under the influence of many assingnments and never ending projects. Bye!

What Makes Me Happy...

Currently Listening:Open your Eyes- Snow Patrol
I am happy when...
...I am able to serve and sing to God
...I make people smile
...I play the piano
...I am with my family
...I'm sharing thoughts with my friends
...I have time for myself
...I sleep a LOT
...I have the chance to get good grades
...I'm watching good and inspirational movies
...I listen to my music
...I hear wind chimes
...I am not in stress
...I am able to get what I want
...I am having my piano recital
...I always make fun of my brother
...I go to the mall
...I'm eating
...I'm drinking coffee
...I remember Paris
...I'm cleaning my room
...I think of my dreams
...I am weak because I know that I am strong
...I have confidence in me
...I am able to speak what's in my mind and in my heart
...I know I'm happy
...I am so blessed to be happy in many things in my life
and...
...GOD is with me.

There are still lots and tons of things even small things that I am happy with, just simple and cute things makes me happy and I know that every smile that I show signifies that God is with me.

So smile...though you're heart is aching...because each is beautiful when he/she is smiling...=)

I thank thee..

Currently Listening: It's not Over- Chris Daughtry
It's been long time since I have my last post. Which is usually done. Actually, I just push myself to update this blog because I just want to have a May entry. haha.
Well, the reason that I haven't post a lot these days because aside from being physically exhaust and spending my free time sleeping, I am facing challenges, like choir competition which has ended today and hopefully we got to the finals and the recital thing and my review for Upcat. hate that review! haha. why? Because I was late last Thursday and have to face punishment but the good thing is that I am not the only one who was late, we were I think about 15 but i am the most late as in super late. Like 1 hour late...haha.

Today is the day that our choir in church compete with the other choirs of the locale in Cavite. We were nervous and stuffs like that, but I think it turned out fine, we didn't expect that our voice will be that full and wholesome? haha. But the judges says the the bass's voice were abit off and we all know. But at least we performed and we let know that at challenges the Salinas Choir will stand up and fight! Besides, it's for God and I think we sang hymns of praises to Him with love and compassion.

Ay tagalog mode muna, bago ko nga pala makalimutan, I just want to blurt out and I am very proud of it! Nginitian ako ng isang gwapong, matangkad na koreano or chinise? ba yun! ewan ko! Basta ang cute niya sayang hindi ko rin siya nangitian. hehe..Mas madali kasing express and kakiligan ko in terms of tagalog kaysa english eh! so yun lang. Sana mag-cruise ulit and aming mga landas at siya naman ang ngingitian ko!