Idealist/Perfectionist

I have discovered just recently how idealistic I am. I want everything to be in order, in pure perfection. As much as possible, everything that I do must be in a state of absoluteness which ends up getting me a little bit frustrated about everything, actually.

Its a sickness, I think which develops from too much critical-thinking and overanalysis about everything that goes around me that leaves me speculating and forming theories that discloses me to be idealist and perfectionist. There are some pros but adversely there's mostly the cons. Usually, I end up disappointed and sorry for myself because it's either I don't have the guts or the universe just don't go along with it.

So when did this started? Just recently actually, occurs everywhere in particular and the variables in my so-called experiment are the humans of different species. I think it has been my hobby ever since to observe people and some seats from La salle offers a good view! But, I know that I cannot pursue this idealistic and perfectionist approach of mine because I, myself, is pouring with flaws and imperfections and mind you I am too far from being perfect.

That's why I felt sometimes different. Like, there's this invisible wall that separates me from the real world to the "other different world of mine". I like living in my world, but sometimes there are things that drove you to the real world and suddenly realize that "your world" is a mere illusion, an ESCAPE from the reality that you tried to run-off ever since. Reality hurts, sometimes. Its the most thing that you want to avoid. It's the one thing that you don't want to face. Maybe I'm just afraid. Scared that I might get hurt again in the end, frightened that I might hurt other people, again. I am just afraid...

Actually, I'm a coward. I'm just in an armor suite of a great, courageous soldier trying to put down everything that gets into his way. But inside, that soldier is a coward, fragile, feeble and irresolute.

But I will still be an idealist/perfectionist. :D

Filipinos Need a "Good Movie. No seriously, a really "Good One"

And when I say "good", I'm not talking about the same-old movie genre that we Filipinos always advertise. The same-old love team, the same-old boring, superficial and very gooey stories. How I wish that Filipinos can make "good stuffs" at least in the field of cinematic approach. Believe me, I have no educational background or whatsoever in the cinema but as a person who loves movie and enjoys a "good" movie, I am quite aware and became open on how movies should affect people's state of mind. This is not so nationalistic but I really enjoy "foreign" movies rather than Pinoy ones. Yes, I must say that there are "few" and "some" noticeable Filipino movies that can I can be proud of, most of them are indies. But sad to say, those films that are even a candidate for the Metro Manila Film Festivals are not that really good. Sure they bring laughter, sure they bring "kilig", sure they bring suspense or thriller but there's no substance in it.

My father hates Filipino movies, but not all of them. One time I asked him, what makes other movies so good that even you watched it for like hundred of times you will not get tired of it? My father says that it's the substance and depth the movie has and I believe him. Good movies have substance, depth that can leave their audience awed with amazement.

Movies can affect us, in fact in many different ways. All we need to do especially to the cinema

tographers that we are portraying a good influence to the movies that we want to inculcate in the minds of the audience.

I had just finished a very good movie. The Story of Emile Zola. Emile Zola is a French writer. All his life, he fought for truth and justice and I think his life until his death is an inspiration to many. His works brought up turmoil in the injustices of the French military army due to its unfair and injustice acts of its officers.

So, who agrees with me?

Who loves foreign movie and who love Pinoy movies more?

This is just a thought.