Something's Wrong With me...

Currently Listening- Why? By Avril Lavigne
...because, I draw. I draw so I think there's something that really in my mind, I just don't know what is that thing. Because, when I draw, there's really something wrong. But the strange thing is that I can't decipher what is wrong with me! Gosh...Maybe I am now a crazy person.

Anyways, many people are shocked and soon will be shocked by the change the happened to me. haha...I just said that I will take care of that, then why am I exposing it to harsh chemicals that may cause damage?Ahah! I know, what's wrong with me. I don't stick to my word! nah...but I feel that's not wrong with me. I think I'm going crazy.

Today is the first day of my review in Academic One for the UPcat test, dad accompany me. The heck! We really left our house so early, at around 5:45 am, but I think that's ok because it's monday and it is hard to get in the bus. But we weren't rode the bus, instead we ride a taxi so we could sit down, and my gosh...I guess this is my lucky day, they is this cute guy, one person apart from me and a also cute guy sitting right beside me. I guess God, gives me encouragement for me really work hard for the review. So I thank Him! haha. Then, we rode a jeep for us to go to La Salle and to Mcdo were we ate our breakfast then off we go to St. Scho. I was quite nervous entering the gates of the school, then I met my classmates, mostly Darwin people. We were guided to a room, for an orientation. We've waited long, it should suppose to start at 8:00 am but it started after 30 minutes, and the orientation last up to 10 am. I am really sleepy and feeling drowsy at that time. Good thing, Zuni was right beside me, so I won't be bored...haha.
Well, as usual they were shocked by what they saw. haha
Then we headed to our room, Rm. 307, and surprise! DIAGNOSTIC TEST! to welcome our first day at the review. Sir Arvie is kind and take note, super intelligent because he is consistent being on the top section in Masci! haha... I wished that I was in that place. So the test is 175 item, consisting of English, Math, Sci, Reading COmprehesion and Logical Reasoning, those test are ok except for the usual-oh-so-hard subject! Math! haha...But there are some formulas that I already forgot in Chem, but overall Science is ok! We were joined by other school like Makati Sci, Mandaluyong Sci, St. Scho and Paco Catholic. I hope that we will be able to meet new friends. But my priority is to do better in this review for me to be ready for the Upcat test.
While I am listening to the orientation about UP, I saw that my course BS Bio is a quota course and also my second choice which is BS Chem, Sir Arvie says that there are over 70,000 entrance examiness registering in UP and only 7000! has the ability to pass...My gosh! that reality adds up to my nervousness, but I guess even though forbidden, I will take test in La Salle, ATeneo and UST.

I guess I should be serious by now. No, wrong I should have been serious in the past, so I didn't regret many things because I'm telling you, you can't rewind the time and correct things just as easy. I wish, I put more effort for the last 3 years in studying at Masci and I wish I didn't waste my time, being lazy and doing unneccesary things. But, what could I do? Past is past and now, I have to start planning my future carefully, learning from the past mistakes. Hay! Now I know what's wrong with me... Seriously. I always take things for granted, I am so procrastinated, I didn't think what might happen and the consequences that awaits me at the end and I hate myself but for being like that. I didn't think of people who want s to desperately go to school even though they lack money, while I have the means and I didn't use the blessing for me to do good. I need to start a new life in Masci. A bit lonely because, I am now graduating and an incoming senior. But I guess it's not too late.

Add to my loneliness, I guess it is because it's the month when my grandma died. and I miss her. Love you Lola!

So, I have to change my clothes into a newly washed, fresh, cleaner, more mature clothes than I have because. Because I stink! haha... This clothes I'm wearing last 15 years and I will change this stinking clothes. bwahaha...

I think there's really something going on with me? Do I need to consult a mental doctor now? Am I mentally ill?