The Tranquility There is When it Rains!

"Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within.
It is not what we see and touch or that chich others do for us
which makes us happy; it is that which
we think and feel and do,
first for the other fellow and then for
ourselves.------Helen Keller
Rain has been pouring down non-stop today. Due to low pressure area. It's raining season again. And I must not forget to bring umbrella to school always. Everytime, when it rain, especially at home, I became so quiet. I just to be quiet and think about things. Why do we associate thinking when it rained? I just feel good when it rains. Thinking about how complex life can be. Thinking bout my future. Thinking 'bout my friends. Thinking 'bout my perio exam. Thinking about passing Up. Thinking about being a Cinderella. Thinking about everything. Why do I have to think about everything. Then I fall asleep. Sleeping nowadays, is the last thing that I will think. Projects, Portfolios, Perio exams. No more sleeping days. But today, I slept because it rained. Rain=relaxation. Rain=peace. Rain=tranquility. Rain=silence. Rain=blessing. Rain=Crying. Rain=Thinking. Rain=Music. As you grow older, you are becoming more and more complicated. I wish I am just like Pooh bear. I want to sing the "Cottleston Pie". Pooh is so simple, simple-minded, although at other person he may look stupid and idiot---Pooh is innocent. But being an innocent in this world? Nah...You won't survive living this world. You must be strategic, impulsive, ambitious, sometimes vain, independent. Because this world is not getting good, it's getting worse. If only I could live my life in the forest. If only I have the power to turn back time. If only....Life is full of regrets. My life is sometimes full of regrets. I didn't learn from past mistake and that was I regretted the most. Regretting your regrets. Doing the same thing all over again. I'm just tired. Right now, I am trying to live a God-fearing, peaceful, tranquil life. Just life that is full of smiles, life that is full of music, food, wonderful dreams, love, hope, faith, strawberry swirls, laces, all of my favorite stuffs. I just want to live life good.

Last Tuesday, my teacher in English shows us poem titled "Crossroads". It is true, that 4th year students are now standing on the crossroads, choosing the best path. What would I choose? and what if there's no choice? But there's always a choice. If I choose, would I be sure of it? Would I be satisfied? Would I live my dreams and goal through my journey? Would I meet interesting people? Would I meet death? Questions. Questions. Future is so erratic. You didn't know what might happen. *Sighs*. Life is really mysterious and yet so beautiful.

Before I die, I would like to fulfill these dreams:
---A perfect score in Physics!---
---To witness Aurora Borealis---
---To play at an orchestra---
---To have my own piano concerto---
---To become the best doctor---

The BIG day!

"We cannot have a perfectly mutual and reciprocal love
because the same amount of love we give can only be found in God."
It's a good thing that I am able to post before the BIG day tomorrow. MALCOLM HALL: COLLEGE OF LAW 12:30 pm, bring your snacks and a no.2 mongol pencil because tomorrow will be my test in UP!!!! This is the day...the day that we've prepared for, all those reviews and weeks of sleepless nights, all those all-about readings when there is a vacant in class, in short all those arduous task that I've done before this day. At Last this day comes. It's a once in a life chance. Sabi nga I must collect good karmas...haha... But even though, my test would be at noon, we would still go there at around 8:00 leaving the house because I don't want to be late. I won't miss this opportunity that being late is not excuse.

The recommendation form that I gave to Mam Lava last week for Ateneo was lost...haha...Looks like He really doesn't want me to take the test. I think sooner the forms of La Salle will be lost...haha...The reason I want to try those entrance exams is that I just want to experience entering those "sosy" schools. But IF EVER I passed those two schools, there's no way that I will enter those schools. First it's a sectarian school, and I am an INC, second because of too much expenses. I am not used to a school who has high tuition fees because during high schools, MAsci don't have any kind of tuition fees. So UP is my only hope to go to college. But I don't rely on my knowledge and strength only, in fact I will not have these if God didn't help me, so I make sure that before I do things on my own, I will consult everything to God. I am not uber confident about everything, I just want to be humble, in fact, I am so nervous right now. I just want to cry. I don't know I want to cry. You know? the feeling that what if I don't pass the test...but no...faith is the first thing that God looks at our hearts. So I have the faithest faith of all ....I will pass UP!!!!!!!!!! Uuuu....adrenaline rush...

It's Very Alarming

Now, i will have a post about the most alarming thing that nature can give us. Mother nature is in it's fury and intense anger. No rain, shortage on electric power, the alarming global warming that has been on the critical state, heat waves that has killed many people, volcaninc erruptions and many other things that we can't even control. People are thinking on how we will solve these problems. Remedies have been made like the "cloud seeding" or artificial rain because dams lack water. I asked dad why did there is a shortage on electric power, so he explained to me that the water falling from the dam is the potential energy needed to make the turbine rotate or to produce hydroelectric power but there is not enough water to make the turbine run because there is no rain. Why there is no rain...it is because of the getting worse global warming which is due to human exploitation of human resources. The increase emission of Carbon Dioxide which is very harmful to our environment, the ozone layer is depleting. No it's not depleting, I think it is already depleted. Whether its raining or not, it's still so hot and the heat is not normal. I once read at a newspaper that in Hungary 500 people died because of heatwave. In Baguio, it is reported in the news that ice was rained and it was not normal. What's happening to our environment, truly, mother nature gives us what deserves us and maybe it is the sign that the world will end....soon.

What can we do? If you will look at people, they don't care. "Some" of them don't care. They just think that it is normal that we experience this kind of things. but it is not. We must be informed that it is quite really alarming that theses things happen. We might never know, maybe tomorrow, fires will pour down from the skies, people will die from heat wave, we will lack water and will be searching everywhere for it and disease will surely spread. Aren't you afraid? I am afraid. It's getting worse and worst....

Amnesia

1 Peter 3-3:4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment,
such as braided hair and waring of gold jewelry and fine clothes.
Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty
of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which is of great worth in God's spirit.
We had a discussion about mental health in Health for the past few days, and gawd! I am so into it, maybe i'm having relations with it. haha...being baliw! Well, Glazy narrated that she had an amnesia, a quite weird amnesia, she said that she had an amnesia on a person that is so close to her. Her bestfried died a long time ago, due to her depression according to her, she had an amnesia, but only to her bestfried. It is so cool, an amnesia only on a "certain" thing, the hard part about that is that of all the things that you will be forgotten off, why would it be the very important person who has been a part of your life. Oh well! I said to myself, if ever I experienced Glazy's, I would rather forget everything except MATH!!!! haha...I've been having sleepless nights because of math and having an amnesia is not an excuse on it. I won't let amnesia, make me back again to basics. haha...Just joking.

We've done some cooking thing on HE this morning and it was quite fun except on the part when we are scolded by Mam San Jose because we were so late at her period.

I am so into myself right now, because i've noticed that in these past few days, I've been having a moment when I think really deep, being silent has dominated my times since then, and I don't know why... maybe because of the things that happen to me especially about friends, in school and in church. In church, I am really feeling uncomfortable, I just don't know, maybe it's natural because it's not everytime that you feel ok with your friends. All I can say that it is so unfair. You will not really receive the same amount of caring and understanding that you give for that person and don't expect that they will give the "same" or "greater" amount of caring and understanding that you have given, because people are not like that. You will be hurt no matter what, and I learned that you must accept to be hurt and to be loved. It's just really unfair because I felt that "my friend" treats my "other friend" more important than I do, that is in fact, we shared many things already. I am really hurt. And it's ok to be hurt because you are becoming closer to God. Having a heart to heart talk with Him.

By the way, UpCat is coming so close!!!! It's July 26 and my test will be on August 4, 12:30 pm at Malcolm hall (College of Law) UP Diliman. I'm really nervous, and like all Iglesia ni Cristo, if ever I have things that I want to do, I want to consult everything to God. So in short, nagpapanata na ako. But I have to work hard for that, and we have a refreshing course this Saturday at Academic One, and I have to be better on it because I am so disappointed about...well I don't hae to say this.

Well it's half past midnight and I just want to stop by at my blog to jot down things. Next time ulit!

Hi!

So kumusta naman ako? Ciguro kala niyo patay na ako, cause I have not been blogging since like more than 10 years...Gawd! namis ko ang blog at heto nanaman ako nagnanakaw sa kulang kong oras upang makapag-blog...Ang busy busy na! Grabe! at take not 4th year na ako! Busy in studies especially busy in studying for UpCat...actually, hindi pa ako ready kasi hindi pa ako masyadong nakakpagreview...Besides Up kumuha ako form sa Ateneo, nagbabakasakali lang, pero hindi ako papasok don, masyadong maluho ang pamumuhay, baka mamulubi at tumira na lang kami sa styrofoam, mantakin mo banaman yung form eh 500 pesos na! Form palang my bayad na eh pano kung doon na ako nag-aral! hehe...Bat nga ba ako nagrereklamo? sino bang my sabi na mag-aral ako don? ah basta, kelangan kong makapasa sa UP! gO lang!

Kumusta naman ang 4th year life ko? well ok naman, masaya naman kahit papano ang Roentgen, daming baliw at loko-loko. Sa mga teachers? Da best. Magagaling ang mga teachers namin ngayong 4th year, favorite ko si Mam Correa ng English at mam D. ng Filipino, ang saya talaga. Pero hindi ko aakalaing palagi akong tulog sa Math namin...grabe talaga tuwing math na lang...twing math na lang tulog ang mga senses ko, parang nanghehele si Mam, Math na yon ha? Grabe talaga, tulog ako palagi kaya naman palagi akong kulelat sa test...haha! Pero I'm trying not to sleep naman, just trying.

Well, I am striving to be a better person now...sana mastrive kong mabuti. Pero may mga elemento paring sadyang nagpapasama ng araw ko, mapaschool o kaya dito...grabe talaga pero kaya ko to... haiy naku...

Absent ako ngayon...tapos bukas review lang kami whole day para sa NCAE...cge bye na..