If

My day yesterday was a bit depressing, I just don't know, why do I get so emotional all of a sudden, maybe...just maybe....uhm...should I say it publicly? Oh..never mind...just maybe that's the reason why. So I get emotional and I get really topakin..I hate this feeling. While we're helding our English class and reciting the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling, I was touched and I was a bit emotional, muntik na akong umiyak, well I'm starting to like poetry, much better than I thought, in poetry you can express even your deepest thought, who cares if you are the only person who can understand it? It's yours, it is your life. When I am reading poetry, I feel so related into it, I feel that the author understands my feelings, that he/she have "felt" the same way I felt life as it is. But they are geniuses because they have the ability to express those thoughts and feelings into an artistic and creative way, unlike me, I don't like showing my feelings that much. When people ask "Are you ok?"...I replied "Oo naman, ang saya ko nga eh". But deep inside, problems are accumulating and I want to hide it because I don't want to affect other people of my dramatic life.hahaha..

If
by Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

While I am reading Reader's Digest yesterday at school, I've read an article about stress, that stress can induce heart attack and that people should relax and not be too hard on their selves. I know, you know what I mean. People don't live just to kill themselves without knowing it! Student like me! I think I am killing myself without any notice! Because i am so stressed. Example, right at this moment, it is 1:00 am and I am still up, because my beloved school just can't stop burdening us with loads and loadsssssss...of assignments and test! But still I am thankful that I survive each day with strength and faith!

Anyways, I don't want to kill myself so I will just jump into my bed right now, closed my History book and sleep...because later on...I will wake up AGAIN! at 5:00! Goodluck to me during class hours! Hope that Mr. Sandman will not make me feel sleepy! Gudmorning! Kung di na kaya ako matulog? Joke Lang! ano ako, baliw?