To Sum it Up

I'm back once again! At least, I'll be having some decent post until 2009 ends. Whew! Can't believe this year gone by so fast. I'll sure be missing 09, after all this year brought me tremendous changes in my life that I would surely treasure forever.

But before that, my photo above is just crap. Its just a whimsical and freakish way to say hello and I hope I scared you! Boo! Hahaha. Oh well, I have been tired carrying my long hair and I've finally decided to cut it short, though not too short because it will just emphasize my fugly face, so I just keep it not too short. Actually, that photo above has a function why I've put it in there, its the "before-after" dramatic effect and all that--- CHANGE.

Darwin once said that "Species that survive the most are only those that are adapted to change" and quite frankly Darwin has point in there. Rarely do the habitat change for the species to adapt, usually its the opposite of it. I have been in a carousel ride for almost I can remember. I have been in my highest ups and my lowest downs (redundant, I know! intended for exaggeration), I have experienced being suicidal, like slitting the wrist or the emo-type things, or hanging my head somewhere or even jumping off the cliff or just wishing that the world will just torn to pieces! (believe it or not) and I have experienced the highest forms of joy (though not through alcohol, sex or drugs) and fortunately those experiences honed me to be a person who does not see the world superficially. Though there are times that I am still too childish, spoiled, brat and such a bitch sometimes. hahaha.

I've learned, actually just right now, that I can't push myself onto people. If they don't like me, then fine, I'm very fine with that. To hell with them! hahaha. Anyway, I CAN'T expect for all the people to like me. As long as I'm doing the right thing, in His eyes, there's nothing more I can do about it.

Though I really, deeply, hugely want to be all the things that I'm not, I just don't have it all. I just CAN'T have it all and I greatly understand that. Even though I have been working my ass off for something and still can't have it, I still can understand that. I've cried and be hurt and I can understand that. It's hard to accept all the facts but there's nothing I can do. Right?

I am thinking of deleting my Twitter account or if not deleting it, just leave it there. I have noticed that many people today are communicating through texts, emails, chats, twitter, facebook, fs or any social-networking things (writing on blogs is an exception, its a totally different thing...:p) which really messes things up--- misinterpretation, etc. And I have been really spilling out some things and I am even saying STUPID things on it. Even the senseless and useless moves, I am thinking that I will TWITTER this! and all that and that really sucks.
Nevertheless, I've enjoyed twitting.

Ha!

Before I forgot, there are so many things that I have to be thankful to God on this year and here are some of the gazillion blessings:

1. My sister Ken. I've never been happier in my life and I've never experienced being a super ate until my baby sis came. She has been a devilish angel to us. I LOVE HER!!! Though there are tough times, I'm still thankful that she came. I love you Ken.

2. My still unwavering FAITH on Him. This had been a big highlight on my 09! Faith is the only thing I needed the most during the darkest days of my life. I super love God for His greatness and His kindness. It's unparalleled and incomparable like no other, THANK YOU!

3. My academic achievements. In relation to no.2 I never thought that I would still make it to the DL amidst the torturing Chem and some personal problems. FAITH saved me and HE saved me. I am still out-poured with endless gratitude to YOU!

4. My family and friends. Simply because they are there to give their unrelenting support to me. Though sometimes, there are misunderstandings, that's all right. hahaha. You know that I know, that I'm such a pain in the ass. :)

5. And I'm thankful for 2009. Everything that happened on it and I'll not categorize it whether good or bad. I know that God had every reason why did it happen and I'm thankful.

As you may have probably noticed, I have not listed my New Year's Resolution because as much as possible I'm avoiding promising things that ended up such a blast. As much as I want to, I just can't fulfill all the things that I'm promising so better let it be.

All I wish that in this new year, love will still prosper and peace will still prevail. Hoping for a better world!

P.S. There will be a Blue Moon today! :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!!!

Conquering the Speed of Light

While I'm typing on the keyboard and jotting down my thoughts on this blog, I am actually very sleepy right now. My body has been working and adjusting by now for this semester. Excited? I hope so, and I think I must be excited and be motivated more or less, inspired. I will having 6 major subjects this semester and that is not a joke. I will be having Compa Ana, Physics and Organic Chem with their respective Lab and Lecture Classes to boot them all, and to make things worse 3 consecutive majors were being taken every Tuesdays and Thursdays. So this is the start of a hellish life, once and for all.

This time, I promised myself that I will not commit once more the same mistake and the same procrastination I had last sem. Experiencing the anxiety and the feeling of "doubt" leaves me physically, mentally and most of all emotionally restless. I even experienced nightmares believe it or not. So as much as possible, I'm making most of my time to be very useful and I might say "productive" so as to avoid cramming and piling up of works, which I totally abhor. Time management is the key, I know but it seems that no matter how hard I try it seems not working.

So, a quick recap first on whats-happened-to-me this week. Happy to see friends and classmates again, excited to meet new professors but not yet ready to welcome stress. First week is quite boring because of the same "reading the syllabus" routine. We even got to watch 2012 during our 4-hrs break, will be writing a review on my multiply if I can write on it. hahaha. So where are we? Oh yes, I've got a good news: Our prof in Organic Chem is Doc Sam! Yehey! hahaha. I really don't know, but it seems that lately, there's something magical in Doc Sam that I was even rejoicing the moment he entered the room and I am not sarcastically saying this one. Though at first there's a part on me that half wants doc sam and the other half doesn't want him still I have learned a lot from him and he unconsciously brought back the things that I forgot to do as a college student--- that learning is spontaneous. We also met Doc Figueroa in our Org Chem Lab, Mam Ramirez on Compa Ana Lab, Mam Tabo on Compa Ana Lec and Sir Al Rey on Physics Lab and Lec and I can say that they were all great professors and I hope that my first impression on them last till the end of semester.


Base on my statistical point of view, I will be having a hard time surviving this semester. First of all, though many people don't really know, I have many obligations to fulfill once I got home. I'm not that typical teenager/adult that once got home, eat, study and hit the sack (though sometimes, I do wish that). I have to baby sit my little sister and to tell you frankly, mamamayat kayo sa kanya. I love my sister, I adore her because she is such a cute little angel that was surprisingly given to my family, that's my responsibility as an ate and I have to accept it wholeheartedly. Another thing is, I have an obligation to fulfill on our church. As a pianist on the choir and attending prayers and worship services, I must do my best in order to fulfill the task that I was assigned to do. Now, to set things straight I am not complaining about all these blabberings, in fact I was very thankful that God has given me responsibilities to hone me as a good person. What I'm trying to say is, I wish there are more than 24 hours in a day and I wish that I could devise a way to surmount the speed of light so I can control time, which is obviously impossible. I'm really a retard. I need lots of prayer and hard work to survive each passing day.

Ha! I need to say goodbye for now and God bless all. :)

Too Thankful!

With my recent fretting about my grade in Chem, finally I have come across Doc Sam and I was really surprised the moment I saw my grade. Angels from heavens sing: "Hallelujah". Finally, finally, finally I can sleep well and breath well. There's like a big chunk of bone stuck on your throat that has been removed! What a great feeling. I bring back all of these to Him. Thank you po! I promise that I'll never have that feeling of anxiety ever again next sem. I really hate that kind of feeling.

I have been trying to make myself busy these days but it seems that all that I'm planning to do won't work out because I always ended up sleeping. I sleep like there's no tomorrow. Well anyway, I'm barely not sleeping during school days, its as if sleeping is a luxury that cannot be bought, my body is only asking some sleep. hahaha.

I have been back with editing and blogging! I have been using Adobe Photoshop CS 4 and I'm still have lots of learning and studying to do. If only my laptop could have a bigger space... can someone buy me an external memory drive 500 GB or 1 TB?! hahaha. Or, or I could buy Macbook 1 TB and enjoy my life. Ooooo! I have been really itching to buy one, but I have to wait until med school.

Honestly right now, I have lots of things that I want but it seems that it could only be possible just by imagining it. "If only I could buy this, or buy that..." "If only I have the infinite money...", too many ifs, that's why I'm really trying hard to study so those "ifs" will turn to reality.

Well, I have to be thankful on what I have right now and have to live a better life.

:)

The World As We Know It

Oh, I'm thinking the first line on how to start this one, but looks like I've got one!

........
.........
.....

You know what?
......

What?
............

I'm like a retard, a minuscule tweet on this humongous, filthy piece of land. I know, many people know that.

.....

Have you ever felt that wanting to rob Bill Gates' mansion or even fake his account? So you could own lots and lots of money? Shame for me, I didn't get his wits. :)

I'm hopeless. I feel hopeless. I'm emo. I'll slight my wrist, draw some weird eyeliner under my eyes and all the emo-things.


They say that its just a strand of hair between sanity and insanity and I've crossed that line!

Do I look like Audrey Hepburn? Or maybe Megan Fox? Or maybe Heidi Klum? Adriana Lima?
Stop all this sh*ty talks.

Sometimes, doing your best is not enough. I want to be Albert Einstein, i want to have his beliefs, his intelligence but it seems that there's something that hinders me from achieving it like some "ethical distress" thingy.

Gosh! I'm emo again. Can't I talk some "happy" things. Um, i've got lots of suitors!!! hahaha. That's crap actually. That's a happy talk for me. hahaha.

I have been a bum... a real certified bum. I'm like sleeping 4 hours and wake up to eat then sleep again. My headaches.

Do I sound like a retard? If I do sound, then stop reading this nonsense, if otherwise. If you could understand this "things" retarded, insane people do, then thank you.

:)

I'm Back!

Whew! Almost 2 months of no blogging, must have been really engrossing myself from too much academics, which I literally have done. I was like a robot that was programmed to do this and that and to tell you honestly that was really tiring, so tiring. This sem has really left an overtly overwhelming part in me, I have experienced all different kinds emotions-- from excited to being depressed (emo! hahaha with Keisha), to being excessively happy, nervous, anxious, eager, LAZY and all that stuff and semester break is just a breath of fresh air and ah! how could I forget Doc Sam, he's the major highlight of this semester, hahaha! I never thought that chemistry would be soo exciting, fun and stressful with him, of course with Doc Sam's help. :))
Now that is not sarcastic as you may see it, I'm serious about it. Doc Sam is an angel in disguise, though many students CAN'T and some many NOT be able to see this one. He wants his students to learn, to stand up on their own and to THINK, to think really hard that all the juices on brain will be sucked out. hahaha. Nevertheless, I just want to thank Doc Sam for all the learnings, though I'm quite not satisfied with my grades on Chem! But anyway, I have a great feeling that he will still be our prof in Org Chem and I really don't know if I'll be elated? hahaha.

Enough of my blabbering about Doc Sam.

Next sem would be a tough one for us, indeed. Below is my schedule and we've reached the maximum units!

PreRegistration Second Semester, SY 2009 - 2010

Advised Subjects

CourseCode SectCode CourseTitle Units From To Days Room CHEM111k S02 ORGANIC CHEMISTRY LEC 3.00 1000 1130 WF PCH105 CHEM111Lk S02 ORGANIC CHEMISTRY LAB 2.00 1300 1600 TH PCH305/306 FILI103c S02 MASINING NA PAGPAPAHAYAG 3.00 830 1000 WF PCH105 PHED104 S13 TEAM SPORTS 2.00 1300 1500 M ULS PHYS103a S02 MECHANICS AND HEAT LEC 3.00 1300 1600 F PCH106 PHYS103La S02 MECHANICS AND HEAT LAB 1.00 700 1000 M PCH107/108 REED144 S13 SPIRITUALITY OF SOCIAL TRANSFORMATION 3.00 1600 1730 WF PCH105 SOSC106 S11 PHILIPPINE GOVERNMENT & NEW CONSTITUTION 3.00 1600 1730 TH COS102 ZOOL111b S01 COMPARATIVE ANATOMY OF VERTEBRATES LEC 3.00 1000 1130 TH COS102 ZOOL111Lb S01 COMPARATIVE ANATOMY OF VERTEBRATES LAB 2.00 700 1000 TH PCH204/205

Total Units: 25.0 Maximum Units Allowed: 25.00

Cancelled - Subject Cancelled (Prerequisite subject failed or subject already taken)

Available - Subject Available

Plot Schedule

Pre-Registration Completed

View PreReg Subjects

Though I am so looking forward on this one, I still have an angst in terms of my academic status. I still really don't know if I am capable to excelling on this one. I hope, I hope with God's help that I would still be able to excel. Hoo! Anyways, if ever I would not be able to pursue med, I'll be jumping off the clip and be like Bella, waiting for Edward or Jacob or some hot stuff out there to save me and I'll marry him, blah blah blah. hahaha. Now, that would be nice. =)

No! I won't let myself befallen once again into procrastination and excessive laziness. I have done with I have been through with the past and the consequences at stake are too much, I won't let that happen again. God has given me ONE more chance not to commit the "same mistake" I have done before and I humbly and deeply thank Him for that, He's really good.

Ah! I'll promise to make this semester break productive.

1. Read as much as I want! Books! Books! Books! I can't live without them!

2. Driving Lessons! Finally.

3. Clean my room. My room is like a forest where all different forms of life are already accumulating.

4. Sleep! Is there anything more divine?

5. Food, ahh!

6. Movies, I really feel so movie deprived.

7. Be more active in church. =))

8. PIANO!!!! I haven't really been able to touch the keys since who-knows-when and I'm going back to my old pieces.

9. And anything that I could think of...

Thank you and it's nice to be back. :)